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This is a post about being yourself, no matter how weird you may be, as long as it doesn’t result in harm to others. Here’s the low down. We are all weird in some way. Some much more than others, but the fact remains that we all have these innate strange qualities that most people would find either weird or troubling. So if you like to dance naked while listening to Sounds of the Rainforest while asl wearing clown makeup, you shouldn’t be ostracized because of that, you should be embraced. One of the greatest examples of embracing weirdness is creative genius Andy Kauffman.

 Post edit: apparently I just lost the rest of this post when I sent it. I had some really bizarre questions I was going to ask customers at my work, but they’re all gone now. There was also some other things, but I really don’t feel like retyping it, so here are some weird questions and that’s it: “What do you think the world would be like if ants were our size?” “Have you ever done any astral travel?” “I’d like you to interperet a dream for me. Okay, so I’m on the top of Mount Rushmore and…” “Do you think in the future that there won’t be any need for shopping carts because we’ll have mastered gravity so well that our groceries will rotate around us at considerable speeds?” “What would happen if I just started taking all of these plastic bags and putting them all over the store, yelling, ‘I’m the one who’s in charge now.’?” “Do you know where I can purchase a neutron microscope that’s capable of seeing subatomic particles and will allow me to find the power to make a nuclear reactor capable of running my house at a much lower cost than conventional electricity?” “Do you dance naked listening to Sounds of the Rainforest while putting clown makeup on when no one else is in the house?” That’s all for me. Peace.

I’ve been reading Steve Pavlina’s Personal Development Blog for over a year now and I’ve come to incorporate him into my daily routine. He, in a way, inspired me to make my own blog and really embrace my passion for writing. I felt that when I initiated this blog, that it would be all comedy and comedy-related items, but I’ve grown quite a bit since then. This is not just a comedy blog. This is a collaboration of my daily thoughts, instincts, and routines. This is me uncensored. I don’t put up a fake front. I don’t say things just to get a laugh. I do it to connect with an audience. But it’s not just about that. It also fulfills me to write and get feedback o n how a particular article helped someone.

Right now I’m in the midst of re-philosophizing my life. I’ve been reading some very interesting literature as of late and it’s starting to make a dent in my consciousness. I haven’t watched more than five hours of TV in the last month, except for the week I had a visitor who was more than happy to just sit there and watch. I’ve tried to improve my diet substantially. I’m trying to naturalize it completely. Fresh fruits and vegetables, homemade juices, rich and hearty whole grains, tasty nuts, and plenty of water. I have been reading on how eating just these essential foods is a blessing for the planet and all of existence, not to mention the massive health benefits. I’ve been slowing things down significantly. By that, I mean I haven’t been working very hard at work, partly because it’s not tourist season, and also partly because I’ve noticed that rushing causes immense stress and no one should ever have to be subjected to it. I’ve learned the value of honesty and trust. I know myself more today than ever before. However, when I first started this ongoing process, it was like meeting myself for the first time.

I started this process off by closely examining myself and all areas of my life. I chose to accept each of them, followed by indicating which parts of my life need work. There were quite a few, but I took the approach that I have my whole life to do this, so there shouldn’t be any rush. The first aspect of my life I chose to revamp was my eating habits. I don’t know what motivated me to do such a thing, but I had heard so many studies that linked diet to well-being and peace of mind. Right now I’m in the midst of working towards a cruelty-free diet. But I’m not completely ready to make the transition yet. I still enjoy some animal products, but I’m moving towards animal-free living. The first thing I decided to avoid was dairy products. To be honest, I never really cared for milk, but I had a feeling it would he hard to give up cheese, ice cream, whipped cream, and yogurt. But I avoid them now as much as possible. They really don’t sit will with me, compared to when I don’t eat them.

When it came time to look at my spiritual beliefs, I had some sort of baseline I was more on the agnostic front, meaning I believed in a God or supernatural being, but was not completely sure of its nature. As a matter of fact, I thought nature was the being. Mother Nature and the energy force the world has in it. Then I was introduced to this belief system that explains quite a lot of different situations. It’s called subjective reality. Here’s how it works: There is only one, distinct, shared consciousness. I am that consciousness. My thoughts have power to change things or keep them the same. My dominant thoughts are what creates my reality. Everyone and everything is a projection of consciousness. I am not just my body, but everything I directly experience. There was also the notion about whether or not people exist when you’re not aware of them. How can you prove it? You can’t because it order to prove this, you would have to become aware of the person or object you’re thinking about. This doesn’t mean that it’s true, but it has to remain open as a possibility.

When we’re born, we’re told the world works a certain way. As a child, we sit through all kinds of lectures in classrooms for six hours a day, being fed mostly propaganda that states you have to work hard to be successful, you need to study hard to do well on tests, you need to be independent instead of interdependent. We’re told of something called success and something called money, both foreign concepts to us at the time, and we believe whatever someone says about it because we don’t know any better. And these thoughts become our beliefs. For example, a child brought up in a Catholic family is instilled with beliefs about heaven and hell, birth and death, Jesus Christ, and the Almighty God. We believe it because we don’t know any other belief system. And since the foundation has been formed for these beliefs, you stick with them. Maybe even for your whole life. Why? Because actually questioning your beliefs and eventually dumping them will destroy all the hard work and long hours you invested into this belief system and it would take a time of confusion and desperation as you look for another way to find meaning in your life.

You sometimes have to go down to move on to a higher level. Let’s take the Catholic example. You’ve been Catholic for thirty years and you find you only go to church because you don’t want other people wondering why you’re not there. It becomes a habit, a routine. It has no real meaning to it. So you want so desperately to leave as this ritual no longer fulfills you. But you wait years to make the move. You research other religions, you look inside yourself to find some sort of way to cope with life. But you still go to mass every Sunday and listen to the things you no longer believe in. Then one day you stop. You stop going. People are calling you up frantically, “Where are you?” And you try so hard not to break their hearts, but you have to say it, “Going there doesn’t fulfill me anymore. I need to find something better.” You worry about the gossip, and other people outside of your awareness mocking you, wondering where you are this week. But you’re creating that. You thinking about that is a creation of what you fear.

But let’s say you get turned on to the whole subjective reality concept along with the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction states that your dominant thoughts are what manifests. So if you have conflicting thoughts about getting married, your dominant ones will find a way to manifest, either by a cancellation or through a messy divorce/annulment. In this type of belief system, you no longer care what people think about you because they are also a part of you. So if someone thinks you starting your own business is a bad idea, it’s only because part of you feels the same way. And I find this model to be quite accurate. And it’s very empowering because it forces you to take complete responsibility for your own life and the lives of others. And you can go two ways. Either negative or positive. You can either think good about other people or badly, but by doing so, you’ll only perpetuate the reputation of those people. People who hate others really hate a part of themselves. I definitely feel this way when it comes to me. Which is why I am trying to move myself in harmony with loving all of nature, all of the universe. Because by doing that, I will come to completely and fully love myself.

I’ve come into contact with the concept of unconditional love. If you believe that everything is a projection of your consciousness, you will indeed love everything in your awareness unless you don’t actually love yourself that much. But this isn’t loving yourself from the ego perspective, but just a form of universal acceptance and appreciation for everything you’ve created. I’m still laying the groundwork for this belief system, but my passion and motivation are sky-high when I apply it directly to the task at hand. This is not a paper written for a specific audience, but just the self-expression of an amazing feeling I have from within. Things are looking my way, our way.

It’s the whole saying “Do one to others as you do them to yourself.” This is true to the last word. If you help others, in this belief system, you’re actually helping yourself. The same goes for the negative. This sort of thinking should erase all fear and doubt. If you have the ability to create whatever kind of life you want, then go out there and do it. If you want to overcomplicate things, then be my guest, but the way I see the world will bring me some interesting results.

When I woke up today, looking at my keyboard, the letters P-O-V-E-R-T-Y just glared at me, so I guess I should talk about poverty for some reason.  Now I can’t really say I’ve experienced extreme poverty personally, but I have seen those who have and I may have some supposed solutions.  Poverty is entirely a state of mind.  Always thinking you won’t have enough, always wondering where your next meal will come from, and not really knowing what the future will hold for you.  I know this can be very frustrating, but poverty-promoting thinking will do nothing to get you out of the current state that you are in.  I know this mindset is especially hard to break, even moreso in the families that experience generational poverty.  But it’s the constant thinking about your impoverished situation that perpetuates the cycle and there is a way to stop it, but it takes quite a bit of conscious effort.  Let me share a personal story about state of mind:

I was seventeen and had just gone through the most intensive brain surgery known to man.  I was going through radiation treatments, which caused me to lose all my hair and I had a gigantic window-shaped scar on the back of my head.  I was in excruciating pain every day and I could barely even function.  I remember that there was a period after the radiation and after my initial “feeling good” period, I sunk back down into a state of pain and depression.  I was constatly hurting, my eyes were so pressurized, I considered not going to school every day.  It was around that time that I learned to alter my state of mind in order to create a better life for myself.  The first thing I did to do this was to remove most of my negative thoughts.  I wish I could have removed all of them, but some of them kept coming back.  Every time I had a negative thought, I changed it into thinking in a positive way.  Then I started imagining my circumstances as getting better, moving in a positive direction.  I did not deny that I was in pain, as denial is something that will help nothing, but I imagined that every day I wake up feeling that much better.  I started this and after the first two weeks, I was feeling slightly better.  Then I kept going, as persistance is very important in situations like this.  Eventually, I started visualizing detailed visions of myself feeling great, jumping around with unbridled enthusiasm.  And by Christmas (about two monts after I started this), I was feeling almost perfect.  I continued to use this tactic for much of my life since, but it is very hard to gain conscious control of your thoughts.  It takes practice and it’s easy to stop once you got the result you want, but it is good to try and focus your energy on positive circumstances.

Poverty is not just a lack of money.  It can be a lack of information, a lack of health, a lack of understanding, a lack of anything.  And to really be effective at breaking this scarcity mindset, you must envision your perfect scene and imagine that every day, your situation is moving closer and closer towards your goal.  Look at things in a positive light, not a negative one.  Begin with the end in mind, but don’t forget to do the first thing first.  Plant your seed of abundance.  Surely, if you align yourself with what you want, you will soon enough get it.

Here’s one problem I’ve been having with this whole mindset.  If I want something, I have to make sure that I really want it.  I can’t just think I want it, because it won’t manifest that way it should.  For example, I tried thinking about getting millions and millions of dollars, but I really couldn’t see any merit in doing that because I don’t believe it is what I really need.  Sure, it would be nice to not have to work, but I don’t need 100 million dollars to accomplish that feat.  So I brought my money goal down a bit because I just need enough to live comfortably and be able to express myself full-time.

I hear that money makes you more of who you already are.  And I agree with that statement.  Money allows you to do things that you were previously too timid to do because of the fear of not having enough money.  Same thing with knowledge.  Sometimes people are timid to get into a conversation because of lack of knowledge about the topic.  So they just don’t do anything.  In the past nine months, I have accumulated such a wealth of information about various subjects that it is probablly exponentially more than I learned in college.  Now, I’m not saying college is bad, it is just very limited.  There is always more learning out there.  Albert Einstein had a great quote:  “I never let my education interfere with my learning.”  So if you do experience a lack of knowledge, please start learning today.

We can all work on these things.  Don’t use the excuse, “I don’t have enough time.”  That’s a total cop-out.  You don’t have time to improve your life, but you have time to watch Survivor and Lost (no link necessary).  We all have time.  What do you think technology has doen for us?  It’s made certain tasks either on autopilot or faster to do, so I really can’t understand how we now are looking for meaningless ways to fill our lives, when we could be using that additional time learning more and getting into a better situation.  It’s time for me to take a nature walk :-).

Here is my problem. We are just too into ourselves today. It’s all about what we have, what we don’t have, what we should have, when you did this, when you did that. Constant, aggravating deadlines and validations. I don’t understand how the world became such a rigid place. Everything is standardized. There are all these systems that we compare ourselves to, and there’s always some competition for a certain degree of success. There are people who walk over other people to become powerful. We all crave this power over other human beings. We all want that for some reason, and we’ll do anything to get it. We want money. We want recognition. We want anything and everything that will make people pay attention to us and actually consider our opinion over someone else’s. We’ll sacrifice our health, our family, and even our values in order to get to the top of some elaborate corporate food chain with hopes of becoming “something successful.”

But what is that, really? Something your ego will love, but not so much your sense of morality, your conscience. It’s funny, isn’t it, how people who work so hard to succeed in their lives, but they aren’t fulfilled. They could be king of the world and that wouldn’t be enough. They are in love with themselves and the power that they could have. But that’s just something that I don’t find meaning in. It’s very isolating if you think about it. And I don’t understand all the rushing. What the hell are all these people rushing for? They drive like mad, they’re always running late for something, and they’re always stressed out. I’ll tell you, it’s a great feeling to have an entire day to yourself, not needing to go anywhere. You can take your time. I’m hoping to come across more of those days. If you rush, you end up missing quite a bit, believe me.

This brings me to a concept I call taking the scenic route. I’m not sure if this is a new idea or an old one. I don’t read many books about this sort of thing, but I’m sure it’s very Zen-like in philosophy. I’ll tell you how I eventually came up with this idea. I like to walk around my neighborhood in a very relaxed manner. There is a golf course with beautiful scenery a little ways down the road and there are some other very natural scenes with many birds and squirrels and that kind of walk relaxes me. There is also a long straight road to my house from the golf course, which takes about five minutes to walk down. Then there is a way to walk that takes about twice as long and has much richer scenery. So I often opt to take the fast route when I think I’m in some kind of rush, but on the days when I have time to spare, I love to take the more scenic route. It gives my senses a sense of peace, a sense of connectedness with all of nature, knowing that no matter what happens in “society,” nature will always remain constant. The timelessness and symbiotic nature of nature can really put your mind, body, and spirit at peace. I think what we all look for in life is a combination of peace, love, happiness, and security. Not to mention passion and a purpose in life. But if we spend all this time rushing, not really knowing the point of our existence, not really observing, but mostly just doing what we think we’re supposed to do, we’re pretty much wasting our lives.  This is what Steve Pavlina calls following the follower.  I certainly don’t want to be one of those people and I never have even thought about doing things like that. 

How many people die from stress-related diseases each year?  I couldn’t even tell you, but I’m sure it is an astronomical number.  But I don’t think it’s their fault.  I think it’s society’s fault.  They make things so damn complicated and hard to understand that it’s almost as if they’re asking us to go completely insane.  We’re all just running around in circles here, and not many people see that.  We’re so transfixed on instant gratification and our very short attention spans.  I can’t even have a meaningful conversation with hardly anyone because either their fucking cell phone will ring or they have to go do something, which is total bunk.  You never have to go do anything.  You create situations where you think you have to do things.  It’s a belief rooted in necessity, but it’s all due to conforming to someone’s social guidelines.

Thirty-thousand years ago, life was not like this.  There weren’t any buildings or civilizations.  There was nothing but a bunch of hunters and gatherers just wandering the planet looking for food and water.  There was no rush.  There was most likely no stress.  There was no need for a plasma screen TV or a meaningless job where you work forty hours a week and get paid lousy for it.  I’m not saying we should revert to old ways, but we need to have some sort of conscious revolution where we realize that life is a collaborative effort, not an individual one.  We’re all the same, really.  We’re all life.  We all live on this planet and our choices are leading it to its demise.  It’s not all our fault, it’s the only life we know.  But we don’t have to accept it.  We don’t have to stand by and watch the collapse of civilization as we know it.  We can be proactive.  We can stop all the cruelty.  We can stop all the ego and power struggles.  But it will take a complete revolutionary realization that will expand the minds of everyone on this planet.  I’m certainly looking forward to some sort of movement, but it’s hard to be optimistic when I see all these people following a path that will inevitably destroy the place in which we live.

I like to put things in perspective.  To the universe, we’re nothing but an insignificantly small part of the entire scope of existence, but to the people and animals on earth, this planet is everything we have.  I have a distinct feeling that sooner or later, Mother Earth and her great power will have to ecologically have us become extinct.  It’s just that it has to cleanse itself of the cancer of the world.  All these new developments will need to be ostracized.  We can either do it now, or let Mother Nature do it for us.  The choice is up to us as a planet.  It’s your move…