AndrewBrunelle.com

Silence is golden. Have you ever heard that phrase before? I believe it is a phrase that is mostly used in Eastern cultures, where in the Western Hemisphere, we are more inclined to think that noise is golden. I have attempted, many times, to take a vow of silence, but if you alert someone that you are taking a vow of silence for a day, a week, or even a month/year, then they will invariably do anything they can to break it, by asking you direct questions, bothering you until you can’t take it anymore, or a variety of other distractions. Taking a vow of silence, even if for just one day, can give you an insight of how much energy we waste on unnecessary speech. All the small talk and boring tirades about how miserable your life is take a backseat to your modesty and your ego nearly melts away. People don’t really get a feel for what is going on inside your head, even though body language speaks volumes about your mood.

I have gone without talking for hours on end, but something or someone always breaks my concentration in not talking. Talking is the primary way in which we communicate with other people. But everybody needs a break from constantly stressing that vocal chord until it gets hoarse with strain. It is more of a spiritual practice than a physcial one, however. I find it allows you to gain peace with your mind, as it is the only thing you have left to communicate to yourself.

I don’t attempt these vows with any sort of external approval from anyone. It is not what I seek. I attempt to do this for my own peace of mind, reflection, and awakening to how much I talk when I really don’t have anything meaningful to say. I hate it when people talk because they feel uncomfortable with silence. There’s always got to be something to fill the void. Why? Why can’t we just allow a little bit of silence into our lives? Just enough to gain perspective on the rest of our life.

Delve into the mind for a change, instead of delving in external circumstances. Allow yourself to be. Don’t place any expectations on a vow of silence because the experience you have will be worth it. As I’ve said, although I have not been able to do it for more than a day due to many distractions, I’ve done it for over six hours at a time and feel totally relaxed and energized at the same time. Quieting down quiets the mind.

I cannot forsee myself ever taking a very long vow of silence, for years or decades. This is unless I go into the woods somewhere for years and don’t come into contact with another human being, that is. If I were to go away for awhile, to the mountains or the forests, I could definitely go for a long, extended period of time. But in today’s terrible society, it is nearly an impossibility, unless I carried a dry erase board around my neck at all times. Or maybe a tape recording of sayings I believe will come up if I need them.

I try certain experiments involving nonverbal communication and find that it is more difficult to get the primary point across so the other party can understand. Sometimes it’s successful, like a wave or a smile, but other times, like explaining the theory of relativity, you may need some sort of visual aid, or some sort of writing to get the message through.

I find that the less I talk, the more I listen. This may seem obvious, but it also seems like people will talk to you more because they are desperately looking for something to fill the void of silence. If they held the belief that silence was golden, then they would also be silent and it would be a much less noisy world. Just now, I heard a child screaming from outside my window. It’s sort of ironic because I never har that sort of thing around here at this hour. Maybe it always occurs, but due to my writing this article as well as listening more, I am more in tune to hearing such things.

This brings me to arguments. I hate how some people think that if they state their point in a loud, rambunctious manner, showing anger and lack of command for the volume of their voice, that their point is more valid than someone who modestly says what is on their minds in a deadpan way of speaking. I don’t like it when things like that happen because the louder person will often interrupt the point of the quieter person by dismissing it completely. They don’t even take time to listen to the other’s point of view. This is key. When taking a vow of silence, you are more susceptible to hearing others’ points of view about whatever. This allows you to fully take in what the other person is saying and then question whether or not it is valid.

I’ll never forget my fourth grade teacher whose idea of “holding the spoon” forever changed my concept of the way arguments should be settled. She took out a wooden spoon and she allowed the person to talk who was holding the spoon. The other person was not allowed to talk until they were given the spoon. So this sort of thinking gave each person an uninterrupted time to give their point, and then have an equal amount of time to listen to the other person’s point. Very balanced and fair.

So through all of this, I hope you make it a priority in life to listen more and talk less. I find it to be very enlightening, as many people have great bits of wisdom to share with you. Nobody knows everything and it’s always good to get some new information in your head. So allow others to speak first, and then offer your point of view and see how they collaborate. You might be surprised.

So my new vow of silence will be modified. Don’t speak while others are speaking, and don’t let my ego get too centered in an argument that doesn’t really affect me that much. Also, to allow silence to come back into my life. Thank you.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 14th, 2006 at 8:31 pm and is filed under Theories, My Experiences. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.