AndrewBrunelle.com

I thought I would pay homage to my first ever blog post, entitled, Hello, World! Although it was an automatic post brought on by Wordpress, a way to get myself started on this blog, I am thankful for it, as it propelled me into the blogging world. Blogging is something many people do, but so few do it effectively. I am not one of the people who truly blogs effectively, because if I did, I would be making a decent income at it. I don’t know if making money blogging is something I seriously want to do anymore, mostly because I feel like there is more out there for me. You know, like blogging would be somehow limiting my abilities. So, this is more of a side project now, rather than a full-fledged ordeal. It is something I enjoy doing and will continue to do for the remainder of my life. How long it will be, I do not know, but getting somewhere in the range of 10,000 posts seems like a solid goal. Ten thousand quality posts that is.

Recently, I entered a comedy contest in my home city and placed in the top four and made it to the finals. I am looking forward to putting my comedy on in the next two weeks, when the finals are held. If I win, I get to emcee at the comedy club for a whole week, which means I will have to request that whole week off from work, but comedy is my dream and selling groceries is definitely nowhere near where I see myself in five, ten, and fifteen years from now. I have to get myself in tip-top shape for this competition, and it will take the best of my memory skills to pull off a victory, as I have no idea who I will be competing against, as more than half of the competitors were in a previous preliminary round. It is an endeavor worth fighting for, I believe. If I bring my A game, rather than my B or C game, I am quite sure I can place in the top three, if not win the whole thing. I just have to count on an audience as generous as last Monday. I also have to make sure I feel as good as I did when I went the previous time. I am starting to juice vegetables today and tomorrow, and throughout the next couple of weeks to boost my energy for the stage. To me, there is almost nothing better than getting a laugh from over one hundred people. Maybe winning the Powerball jackpot, but even if I won that, what would I do with all that money?

I am planning a voyage back to college next semester as well,and that will certainly eat up a lot of my plate, in terms of time and effort. Maybe it is still a good idea to go into teaching and do comedy on the side, but I am not completely sure. All I know is that I enjoy mathematics and I enjoy comedy, and I think I could teach mathematics to people in a funny way, a way that would allow them to remember it. I mean, in a perfect world, there would be a job for a mathematical comedian, but most people do not want to do equations while in a nightclub. I can see it now, me up there with a chalkboard, explaining that you cannot get blood from a stone, mathematically, that is, and most likely logically as well.

The only downside to working in a real comedy club is the smoke. I am adversive to smoking, I never lived in a household where anyone smoked while I was there, so spending over three and a half hours in a smoke-filled environment had some adverse effects on me the next day, but if I do not do it very frequently, and if I make a strong commitment to move back up to the northeast or to California, where smoking is no longer permitted in nightclubs, at least in most of them, I will be able to thrive as a comic anytime. I had bloodshot eyes the next day and the scratchiest throat I can remember. I will definitely have to take care of my self from a holistic standpoint if I want this comedy thing to really catch on. I have to have an immune system that could take down Hitler if he was a germ. George Carlin has some unorthodox ways to better your immune system. He says that, as a child, he swam in raw sewage, which is why he never contracted polio. Pretty intriguing if you ask me. If you ask someone else, that person is entitled to his/her opinion.

Comedy gives me a rush that only a true comedian can really understand. You cannot just imagine what it would feel like, you actually have to do it. If you do not do it, you will never get the feeling of being up there onstage, telling jokes to people you will probably never see again, unless you are really good. I’m sure other types of performers can say the same. Motivational speakers, musical performers, and everything else that gets up on a stage and starts spewing out whatever he/she wants to say. Because I am able to get up there, even if I would fail, I still take the experience at face value, evaluate it, and move on. The building blocks of success include failure, and I believe that getting through the stumbling blocks in unfamiliar fashion (i.e. pressing on, even when everyone tells you you’re crazy) will build character and allow for you to blossom at the end. Remember the story about the ugly duckling? He was ridiculed his whole life, until one day he became more beautiful than anything anyone would ever imagine. And this is my goal. And I am not just going to do comedy. I plan to inspire as well. Be a humorous inspirational speaker who motivates as well as demotivates in a humorous fashion.

I know that this will be hard work, but it is so worth it. If I can be one of those comics who has a show almost every night, is making a decent living, and has enjoyable relationships with family, friends, and other comedians/performers, I believe I may be the happiest person alive. It is something to strive for, but I will not rush myself. I still have to enjoy myself in the present. I will go at the pace I need to to feel happy and succeed in the fashion I feel is right. It is something all of us have at one point. A dream. It may not be as big as Martin Luther King’s dream, or Ghandi’s dream, but a dream that will fulfill us and make the world a better place is certainly worth going for, don’t you think?

The worst feeling ever is when you have a funny thought and forget it before you have a chance to write it down. Not just funny thoughts, too. Profound thoughts, like, “Did I lock my keys in my car again?” That makes absolutely no sense, but I’ll go on from here. This is a solid foundation for a wonderful post. Why would someone write down a question like that? Anyway, I find that writing down any important thoughts I have, be them comedy or otherwise, prove to be invaluable. Later I can archive them into my database of thoughts, which further and further brings me closer to finding out exactly who I am. Not from an ego perspective, but from a self perspective. I know who my ego is, but getting into the self is something that is much more challenging. My thoughts help me go into a positive direction towards figuring this all out.

Everone is different in some way, but then again, we are all the same in other ways. But I believe, at a fundamental level, we are all one. We are all the same collective consciousness. And this includes everything we experience. Not just human beings, as we tend to think of ourselves as so much more important as the other species on this planet. They are all part of us as a whole as well. I remember this thing I heard from somewhere about how if you are ever mad at someone or criticize someone, it is really that part of you that you are resisting. Like if you work in an office building and you notice one of your employees is not doing his/her job effectively, perhaps working on your own effectiveness will ease the problem. If someone is driving you crazy, it is not their behavior that is driving you crazy, but your reaction to this person’s behavior. You can choose to accept the “gift” or not. And if you do not accept the gift, to whom does the gift belong?

I don’t know if you got that reference, but if not, there was a story about the Buddha and some young hothead who kept spewing insults at the Buddha. The Buddha remained calm and eventually the hothead walked away, frustrated. The man who was hurling the insults did not have a receiver of them because the Buddha decided to decline them. Therefore, the receiver of the insults was the young man who was hurling them. I really like this story because it is just amazing how simplistic it is, and yet it brings across such a powerful message. But I feel that most things that have powerful messages are simplistic. Otherwise, their message would be convoluted in a pile of rules and regulations.

Following that natural progression of thought, if you love someone, it really means you love that part of yourself. The same goes for hate, despise, and whatever else you can think of. If you completely and fully accept yourself, then you will completely and fully accept everyone unconditionally, to the degree you accept yourself unconditionally. I hope that make ssense. Even if the outside world tells you that you’re not good enough, that you need to do more, all that matters is what is inside yourself. And once you open the door to accepting everyone for who they are, people will eventually accept you for who you are. It may take a little while for everyone to accept you, but it takes awhile for anything new to manifest in your life, so be patient.

Accept things as they are and move to grow from them. If you resist your current situation in the present, then you are creating more of that for yourself. Embrace every moment you have on this planet because the time is limited, at least in a physical sense. Once you start accepting your current circumstances (the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth), then you can move on to actually bettering your circumstances. You will never be able to grow from denial because denying what you have right now is lowering your awareness. Accept what you have, and make an intention to move towards what you want. And just allow yourself to experience joy. I mean, if you really want to start enjoying life, why not start right now? Watch a funny clip on YouTube or rent a funny movie. Get yourself in a joyful state because life is too short to be depressed. And acknowledge that your current circumstances could change at any moment. Embrace impermanance.

Life would be boring if it was not the way it is now. If there were no obstacles to overcome, what would be the purpose of living? As I believe I said before, if we all had our problems solved, we would have nothing to work towards. We need to be grateful for everything we experience because it is allowing us to experience life and all of its wonders. I don’t know where I read this, but one guy suggested that even when you are signing your bankruptcy papers, take a moment to realize how smooth the pen writes on the piece of paper.

I guess I should close with one last story, and I believe this is the whole theme of this post: A man is being chased by two lions all the way to the edge of a cliff. He sees a vine dangling from the cliff and decides to climb down on it. It is a strawberry vine. He is hanging from it so the lions cannot reach him. He looks up and notices two mice gnawing on the vine. He knows he does not have much time before he falls to his death. He eats a stawberry and it is delicious.

Lately I feel as if I’ve been running around in circles. I feel like my days are becoming more and more alike and less diverse. I took an extended break from writing in this blog, mainly because I needed to rejuvenate my mind, body, and spirit. I tried and tried to write an article for days on end, but I just could not get enthusiastic enough to continue. I ended up cancelling maybe ten or so entries that I did not deem worthy of being posted. I was thinking, “Maybe I’ve run out of ideas,” but I knew that wasn’t the case. Eventually I would find something else to write about. And I guess this is it. I think the whole problem was that there was not really a topic I saw in the last two weeks that really inspired me to write a post. I mean, even with all those topics out there, nothing was really sticking. But life goes on and this blog is not me. It is merely an expression of ideas formulated in my consciousness. And it is a wonderful outlet of expression that I am truly grateful for.

I no longer strive to keep up with any of the A-list bloggers because, seriously, I am not an A-list blogger. I am growing as a blogger, becoming better as a person, and these occurences are worth more than some status gained from the work I do here. This blog is just as much for me as it is for everyone else. It helps me through my tough times and allows me to express joy through the good times. I do keep another journal on Live Journal, but I do not allow it to the public. It is much more personal than this one. Writing is a joy of mine and being able to write something here and press the “Publish” button and send it out into the Internet, into the world, for anyone to read, that is astonishing in my opinion. The fact that we have this sort of technology is amazing and I am just glad I am able to put it to good use.

So, I was sitting around, wondering how much I should post, how long my posts should be, and all of that technical mumbo-jumbo, and I had a flash of insight. It was nothing remarkable in an objective sense, but subjectively, and intuitively, it made sense to me. I post when I feel like posting, I write until I feel like not writing anymore, and I write about what is on my mind. I will very scarcely edit or revise, mostly because it is important to allow my thoughts to be. Besides, I am not turning this in for a grade. I am just doing this because I want to. And it is my blog, so whatever I wish to do with it, it is my choice. I’m kind of wondering where I am going with this blog, how I want to expand, or contract. It all depends on how far I can get with this framework. Sure, it would be nice to develop an audience of over one million per month, but I do not feel I am ready to accept that amount of volume. I need to grow further.

The thing that is funny is that everyone has a blog now. I mean, it is becoming as common as having a cell phone, or a television. Blogs are popping up everywhere, and most of them are very personal in nature, while some are very broad in the topics they explore. I would love to read all of them, but I feel it would most likely be a waste of my time. I do read some blogs, but in moderation. I try to limit the amount of time I spend in front of the computer or television, but sometimes it just gets to me and I spend hours reading a blog I discover by accident. There is such a network of blogs, links, and all of those other technical stuff that is is so broad and amazing. One blog links to another blog, and that blog links to a third blog, and that third blog links back to the first blog to complete the circuit. The whole world defined by blogging. A new culture.

Something about writing here just feels right to me now. It’s hard coming up with specific topics to comment on daily and taking an intuitive approach may help me get back on the right track. My intuition, my instincts, know what is best for me, and the more I learn to trust them, the better off I will be. I am not here to impress anyone, or for any hidden agenda, I am just here, in the flesh, writing until my mind shuts off and surrenders to the beckon call of sleep. This is real. But at the same time, it is surreal. It’s hard to explain, so I will leave it up to your imagination. The world awaits you. This was fun. Until next time…

Astronomy (n): The study of stars which makes humans realize how insignifcant they really are.

The universe is gigantic. Gigantic beyond comprehension even. Billions and trillions of stars, millions of galaxies, an infinite amount of energy, somewhere out there, in the universe. It sure makes you feel small. It makes everything on Earth seem so insignificant with respect to the infinity of the universe. But why is it so big? What does it mean for us that we are so much less important than we initially thought? Most people resist taking on a cosmic perspective, at least in my life, and I think I know why. Because it is overwhelming and kind of depressing at first. Even taking on a global perspective is kind of demotivating, if looking at your life with respect to everyone who has ever lived on this planet. It just makes you realize your time is limited here.

But if we are living on a spinning ball, making revolutions around the sun, in a heirarchy ofmillions and billions of other systems like this, some dying, some being born, then what are we ? Why are we here? That is the one question that everyone wants to know the answer to. Some so badly they will buy just about any story someone can come up with. If someone says that we are here to learn a lesson or that there is an invisible man in the sky judging you, that you should strive to do good and not evil, people listen with great intent. And it is not a bad thing to give meaning to your life, but in a way, isn’t it a form of denial? I mean, I do believe there is life after death, a spiritual life, but I still question what that will mean, or if it will all be revealed to me once I cross over (but not with Jon Edwards). And when discussing the meaning of life with the close-minded evangelical-like believers, they will never change their perspective or even consider yours. Which is a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

Sure, there may be, and probably is, a spiritual side of life, and it is more empowering to believe that after you die, you will still exist. The other perspective is worthless, is demotivating, and will bring you a very depressing life because if there is no meaning, what is the point? But if you believe that there is something beyond this crazy planet and the whole universe, then you will most likely have less fear because no matter what happens to your physical body, you still exist in some form, therefore nothing can really destroy you, the essence of your being.

But if we are spiritual in nature, why are we living on some gigantic sphere, spinning around in circles around another even bigger sphere, along with other spheres, and other stars, for billions and billions of years, forever and ever and ever? I don’t know. I still have not figured out what this means. There has to be some reason why all of this is here. It’s not just for us to look at. Before us, these things were still here, so there has to be some purpose to it. Animals don’t question these things, they just live their lives. They instinctively must know something we do not. They must already know something about the infinity of time and space and are just allowed to live. The human, with his inquisitive and rational nature, is always wanting answers to questions that, from his/her perspective, are unanswerable.

Life goes on. Like some roller coaster ride that never ends, the universe does what it does best. And we stay here, trapped on some blue marble in the perspective of the whole universe, our lives nothing but a cosmic wink in the grand scheme, and for some reason we still find a way to get out of bed in the morning. Even though we either consider life meaningless or timeless (in the spiritual sense). I guess the way to look at it is, you could either believe life is meaningless and be apathetic, lethargic, and careless about your actions, which don’t really matter, or you can believe in a spiritual life beyond the grave, and make an effort to enrich your life here before moving on to whatever lies ahead. It would seem to me that option number two, the latter, would make a better choice to live a fulfilling life. And even if I am wrong, at least I lived a good life.

I would like to close this post with abstract thinking I would like to share with you. Imagine getting a snapshot of the universe. Of the whole thing. And pretend you were looking from far above at this thing, and what would be outside of it? How would this provide a bigger context for living? Would this solve anything at all or would it only create more confusion? We are imbedded in this system, so we have no way to see the whole thing simultaneously. Maybe doing so would give us some sort of answer. Maybe not. Have a cosmic day.