News: Sensation!!! Withdraw xanax Clonidine Nitroglycerin Generic cialis softtabs Phentermine 37 5 Chromium Taking viagra or levivia as a booster for cialis Dextrothyroxine Discount tramadol Ouabain Cialis compared to viagra Cheap viagra pills Viagra 100 mg Diet medication online phentermine Cialis prescriptions Discount meridia Phentermine quick Flutamide Viagra compared to levivia Isoflurophate Permax Mirapex Mephenytoin Cialis tablet First viagra commercial network tv Spectinomycin Free viagra Ciprofloxacin Atropine Ionamin phentermine Cialis drug impotence Colace Asa How long does xanax stay in system Inject xanax Approval cialis Amikacin Linkdomain buy online viagra info domain buy onlin Buy phentermine online Lowest price viagra Phentermine overnight shipping Diet drug loss phentermine weight Differin Order phentermine overnight Lethal dose xanax Beconase Tramadol abuse Gabapentin Delavirdine Thiphenamil Information medical phentermine Alternatives to viagra Discount phentermine no prescription Cialis in the uk Phentermine 30 mg What is phentermine Drug tests for xanax Phentermine alternative Erectile dysfunction viagra Buy canada cialis Diet pal pay phentermine pill Meridia weight loss Nitric oxide viagra Buy fioricet online Hydrocodone addiction Oxycontin xanax bars perclesept and lortab wha Phentermine forums Dimenhydrinate Online consultation xanax Bar gold xanax Xanax depression Lethal dosage of xanax Generic cialis india 5 mg diet pills Viagra alternate Phentermine online diet pill Protirelin Low dose of viagra 3mg xanax Lethal dose of xanax d method Alprazolam xanax over night Phentermine free delivery Phentermine weight loss Phentermine online without a prescription Phentermine 37 5mg and mastercard Tramadol Buying viagra in the uk Viagra cialis levivia dose comparison Black market phentermine Viagra 6 free samples Cefpodoxime Carvedilol Civiate generic sildenafil viagra Phentermine overnight delivery no prescription Oxazepam Flupenthixol Viagra cialis levitra comparison dosages Information on phentermine Sample viagra Fioricet information Darvocet Lowest phentermine 37 5 prices Ambien cr effects side Doxorubicin What is phentermine civ Online pharmacy xanax Buy phentermine online prescription Fluticasone Ordering 30mg phentermine Viagra results Buying viagra on line Smoking xanax Protriptyline Phentermine pill discount Online ordering viagra Online consultations and prescriptions phentermine Xanax grapefruit Chlorothiazide Herbal phentermine Viagra dangers Vicodin cod How to use viagra Online viagra consultation Elavil Phendimetrazine Minoxidil Ativan Etoposide Lowest prices viagra Cyclophosphamide Lunesta Tramadol hcl acetaminotran par 5 pdr Epivir Prescription order viagra online Phentermine saturday delivery Levaquin Tramadol cheap Nefazodone Buy phentermine in canada Nonoxynol Hydrocodone prescription Pfizer xanax Quinacrine Buy locally viagra Iodamide Budesonide Ambien withdrawal Non prescription phentermine Viagra vs levivia Lowest drug price for phentermine Danazol Phentermine no rx Fioricet Delivery generic overnight viagra Cialis co drug eli impotence lilly Phentermine delivered cod Biaxin Tramadol cheap overnight inexpensive Pseudoephedrine Generic soft tab cialis Cheap viagra generic Phentermine uses Xanax overdose Aprotinin Norethynodrel Azatadine Lowest phentermine 100 mg viagra Azithromycin Cialis tablets Phentermine no prescription Heroin Omeprazole Alternative viagra Xanax death Cialis levitra vs Botox Tramadol hcl acetaminotran Viagra cialis comparison 37 effects phentermine side Nicotrol Xanax information Viagra treatment migraine headache Paris cheep phentermine Levivia viagra vs Aldactone Morphine Lomefloxacin Xanax federal express Diamox Difference between viagra and levivia Nexium Leo phentermine order online Maximum dosage of phentermine Fioricet Cheap viagra online Clomiphene Generic cialis from india Phentermine tricks Viagra experiences Cheap pharmacy viagra Phentermine diet pill Xanax online no prescription Generic viagra canada Buy viagra online without prescription Buy cialis in the uk Generica viagra Phentermine from mexico Cheap viagra order online Tramadol apap Opium Phentermine cheap free shipping Tramadol ultram Xanax half life Femara Order ambien online Vidarabine Low cost phentermine Time released xanax Aricept Mecamylamine Phenprocoumon Accutane Pictures of xanax pills Amlodipine Phentermine interactions Viagra cheap Hydrocodone online Cheapest fioricet Cheap quality viagra Lisinopril versus viagra Reserpine Xanax overnight Buy viagra prescription online Dovonex Benzthiazide Trileptal Mixing viagra and cialis No prior perscription tramadol Spironolactone Cheap generic viagra substitutes Ingredient in phentermine Cialis compared to viagra Xanax bar effects Viagra without a perscription Cialis generic canada On line vicodin Oxprenolol Acyclovir Effects of viagra on women India pharmacies ativan valium xanax Hydrocodone m357 Side effects of phentermine Bontril phentermine adipex Methadone xanax interaction Plavix Cialis vs viagra Paxil Vicodin side effects Viagra canada Paramethadione Soma san diego Order viagra visit your doctor online Santa claus viagra jokes Enoxacin Phentermine 180 Cod tramadol Xanax no prescription needed No prescription needed phentermine Viagra price comparison Isopropamide Xanax 2 mg Mifepristone Congress viagra Per day buy phentermine Losec Women using viagra Diet phentermine pill sale Dobutamine Canadian pharmacy phentermine Aldactone Cidofovir Xanax pics Phentermine depression Generic viagra cialis levitra buy cheap Buy hydrocodone online Viagra online ordering Nalorphine Order viagra now Methadone and xanax Viagra without a prescription Terfenadine Phentermine free online consultation Viagra lawsuits Thyroid Xanax tablets Phentermine success Niaspan Cleocin Estrogen Fioricet medication Metoprolol Generic viagra cialis Xanax effect Cialis effective soft tab treatment Hexocyclium Detection drug in phentermine screen urine Oxycontin xanax bars per casettes and lortabs Phentermine by cod Bethanechol Phentermine cod Toradol Furazolidone Hydrocodone overdose Cheapest place to buy phentermine online Drug loss phentermine weight Adenosine Cyclothiazide Decadron Thiamine Xanax drug tests Viagra sale uk Tramadol cash on delivery Viagra joke Buy discount phentermine Phendimetrazine Herbal viagra alternative Xanax cash on delivery Herbal alternative to viagra Cheapest cialis price Imuran Soma 350mg Viagra cialis levivia comparison Adipex loss phentermine weight Claritin Tetrabenazine Cyclobenzaprine Natural viagra for woman 20mg cialis health risks Buy online viagra securely Isotretinoin Side effects of viagra Codeine Lowest priced viagra in the uk Elocon Diphenadione Cod online pharmacy phentermine sell Tramadol 50 mg Buy xanax on line Phentermine Humulin Phentermine without doctor's approval Ordering viagra Cefmetazole Cheap tramadol prescriptions online 5mg tablet Camphor Picture of xanax pills Cytotec Minocycline Injecting xanax Luxury hotel rome xanax description Tramadol use in dogs Oxybutynin Perscription phentermine Phentermine shipped to ky Cheap viagra india Cialis pill Inderal Hydrocodone info Cheapest phentermine online free shipping Hydrocodone withdrawal Phentermine ephedrine Cheapest cialis generic Xanax detox Phentermine online stores Pentasa Generic viagra reviews Prevacid Phentermine weight loss pills Dichloralphenazone Nizatidine Phentermine Ambien on line Cheapest tramadol available online Guanadrel Tramadol avinza drug interaction Actonel Xanax urine test Actos phentermine aciphex imitrex Eulexin Phentermine in jonesboro arkansas Phentermine pharmacys online Desyrel Filing income tax buy tramadol Generic money order viagra Methylphenidate Phentermine hc Xanax online without prescription Cefepime Alternatives to phentermine Generic meridia Metrizamide Lotrel Phentermine chemical enhancement Drug testing and tramadol Dangers of viagra Moexipril Valium Niacinamide Cefoxitin Betamethasone Androgel Chinese viagra dragon power Prescriptions on line phentermine Diprolene Canadian cialis Phenobarbital Hydrocodone Plavix Voltaren Viagra Prazosin Weight loss oral hcg and phentermine Cheapest phentermine diet pill Letrozole Phentermine affordable Dexchlorpheniramine Buy xanax without a prescription Viagra and levivia Fiorinal Buy phentermine online payment method cod accepted Fluvastatin Probenecid Xanax sexual side effects Does phentermine work Cheap online order viagra Ambien 10mg Vicodin and alcohol Viagra testimonials Phentolamine Flomax Anafranil 5 no perscription Adipex vs phentermine Over the counter viagra Generic soma Difference between valium and xanax Isradipine Xanax anxiety Lorazepam Trazodone Buy cheap tramadol Promazine Accolate Cordarone Oxyphenonium Phentermine gynecomastia Phentermine testimonials Reliable same or next day phentermine purchase online Viagra uk Soma cube Nevirapine Submit a site viagra Flovent Does phentermine really work Buying viagra online uk Phentermine fastin 5 mg Substitute viagra Digitoxin Viagra sample pack Buy generic phentermine Viagra uses Diphenhydramine Herbal phentermine review Cheapest viagra uk Tramadol cause kidney problems Phentermine side effects Buy phentermine on line Phentermine eprescriptions Xanax without prescription Meridia vs phentermine Propoxyphene Amrinone Chenodiol Loperamide Piroxicam Viagra cost 5 mg no prescription Effects viagra Cialis soft tabs Delivery florida online pharmacy phentermine Adipex diet discount phentermine pill Phendimetrazine versus phentermine Hydrocodone prescription online Phentermine shipped to missouri Locoid Hydrocodone com Calan Imiquimod Vicodin Lopid Labetalol Aminoglutethimide Negative side effects of phentermine Order viagra prescription Vicodin for sale Vicodin Methotrexate What does xanax do Sulfonamides Cephalothin Impotence treatment viagra Buy levivia viagra Does phentermine help weight loss Generic cialis overnight Dofetilide Tussionex Oseltamivir Ambien cr Ups cod phentermine Discount generic cialis Cialis viagra levivia Diovan Orphenadrine Tolmetin Meridia better than phentermine Xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox Oxycodone vs hydrocodone Low cost viagra Viagra samples free Percocet Phentermine side effects danger Order xanax no prescription Apcalis cialis Buy tramadol cheap Tramadol hcl 50mg Buy discount viagra online 5 no prescription Pindolol Xanax withdrawl message boards Ursodiol Free shipping cheap phentermine Cialis information Sertraline Female sexual inhancer viagra spray Buspar xanax Phentermine usa pharmacy Herbal viagra for women Cialis sales uk Buy online purchase viagra Generic cialis uk Accupril Liotrix Purchase xanax online Constipation phentermine Herbal phentermine side effects Viagra generic drug Idarubicin Soma muscle Phentermine price Homatropine Remeron Cialis generic viagra Phentermine prozac Cheap phentermine no prescription Thyrotropin Cialis results Ansaid Viagra pills Purchase phentermine online Ambien and pregnancy Phentermine pillstore Lopressor Esmolol Amlodipine Lexapro Permethrin Kaopectate Enalapril Phentermine no prescription required next day delivery Meridia online Buy viagra internet Buy in phentermine uk Online viagra Fluconazole Phentermine 15mg Tramadol hcl Buy phentermine online com Alcohol hydrocodone 50mg generic viagra Overnight shipping phentermine Verapamil Soma pill Alprazolam Viagrafix Cialis tadalafil Cialis samples Cheap prescription viagra Soma side effects Viagra suppliers in the uk Snorting phentermine Carphenazine Naprosyn Celexa Phentermine without perscription Diet ky phentermine pill ship that Xanax online without a prescription Blindness viagra Difference between cialis and viagra Viagra pill picture Addiction tramadol Cheapest phentermine Viagra alternatives uk Norepinephrine Canadian pharmacy viagra Phentermine order Canada viagra No online prescription xanax Viagra herbal Better than viagra Phentermine drug Viagra buy in uk online Phentermine online prescription Buy viagra online cheap Vicodin and pregnancy Buy cheap vicodin Where to buy xanax Acetophenazine Xanax medication Lowest price tramadol Berman sister female viagra study Xanax ambien Colchicine Buy domain online 199mb com tramadol Tramadol dosage Estrace Bactrim phentermine Cinoxacin Low cost phentermine health insurance lead Pancuronium Viagra wholesale Viagra lowest prices Pyridoxine Trimethobenzamide Drug test tramadol hydochloride Does viagra woman work Cyclandelate Cyclamate Phentermine a159 Keppra Buy phentermine prozac Estraderm Phentermine + sale Canada generic viagra Xanax in pregnancy Time released phentermine Dog xanax Soma bike Female viagra uk Best online deal for phentermine How long does xanax stay in your system Carvedilol Marijuana Hydrocodone description Viagra online Phentermine hydrochloride ship to missouri Cheep phentermine Macrobid Zoloft and xanax Compare levivia viagra Oxytetracycline Cefotaxime Phentermine tablets Norgestrel Lexapro interaction with phentermine Amitriptyline Phentermine 37_5 Ceclor Tranylcypromine Adapalene Physican's desk reference phentermine 50 mg viagra Buy phentermine mastercard Viagra story Trichlormethiazide Stopping xanax Generic uk viagra Celebrex Order xanax online Written prescription for viagra Tramadol cod Phentermine about withdrawl Midodrine 90 cod count day phentermine Appetite suppressants equivelant to phentermine Cialis soft Montelukast Diethylpropion Meridia Isotretinoin Catapres Generic viagra viagrageneric Buy cialis in canada Order xanax Imitrex Canadian no phentermine prescription Generic phentermine Where to buy viagra online Phentermine buy Cardizem Iodothyrin Xanax no prescription required Phentermine compare prices Viagra cialis levivia comparison dosages Aldara Captopril Levitra vs cialis Is phentermine addictive Ambenonium Phentermine directly and discreetly adipex Cheapest place to buy phentermine Viagra faq Grapefruit xanax Ditropan Cialis com Oxcarbazepine Buy generic online phentermine Generic viagra soft tab Carisoprodol Buy online securely viagra Fastin On line doctor phentermine Indomethacin Phentermine no perscription needed Overnight phentermine shipping Cosopt Cogentin 100 tramadol Tramadol sale Beconase Oxacillin Diet page phentermine pill yellow Cialis day next Premarin Xanax side effect

Archive for the ‘Comedians’ Category

Sam Kinnison is Crazy

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

Here’s a link to Sam Kinnison that I really enjoyed.  He’s this comedian from back in the day.  He used to scream a lot and stuff, but I never really saw his act before today.  I saw him in the Rodney Dangerfield movie Back to School.  He was the history professor who yelled at Rodney, who decided to yell back.  It was something about WWII.  I forget, but it was a great scene.  It was a little sexually explicit, but it’s not like your kids are home right now.  Or are they?  If they are, bring them in to watch one of the grerat ones.  Rodney is also seen on this video introducing Kinnison to stage.  I’m not sure when it was shot, but the video quality isn’t the best I’ve ever seen, but the audio is pretty spot on.  Well, enjoy and check out my Myspace page as well. 

I’d also like to introduce you to a brilliant female comic known as Tig.  She is just hilarious.  I really can’t put into words how much she makes me laugh.  One of the only female comedians who can accomplish this task.  But I’m sure you all have your tastes and I have mine, but there’s no mistaking funny when I see it.  Well, have a good night and farewell until the morning, at least.

Random Updates and Speculations

Thursday, September 21st, 2006

There are some problems I have to work out with the new flyer page I want to develop. but I’m sure in the future I’ll be able to make them work.  The problem is that these flyers are more Microsoft Works-like in nature and converting them to images was a social faux pas for me because when I uploaded one of them, it came in so small, I couldn’t even make it out.  And when I tried to enlarge it, it was all blurry and shit, so I decided to wait a little while until I can specifically map the images to the interface in such a way that I can still create a flyer-like image, and also have some sort of introduction to them as well.  I mean, it’s only natural to have problems when dealing with software I’ve never dealt with before, so I have a feeling that it will resolve of it’s own velition and I’ll be able to place some awesome flyers up in the next couple of days.  I’m really looking forward to this.  I’ve really got to enhance my knowlege of HTML as well.  So far, all I’ve really done with respect to HTML is basically links and lists.  I’m just having trouble figuring out what else this site needs.  Maybe some photo imagery?  I’m not sure at this time.

I’m also working on a myspace page on www.myspace.com/andrewbrunelle.  It looks to be something decent so far, but there’s only so much media I can fit on one of those pages.  Eventually, I’m hoping to collaborate the two onto my own server where bandwith is my option to contract or expand.  I’m almost there.  I really have it going now.  The only real problem is getting more traffic.  I’m glad traffic has increased signnificanly since I started this blog, but it’s still in the low range compared to blogs I read on a semi-daily basis.  So I intend for much more visitors to come to my website and experience me as a whole.  Okay, I’ve got some uploading to do on myspace, so hang tight and I’ll be there for you, hope you’re there for me, too.

Funny Movies to See

Thursday, September 21st, 2006

Here is a list of funny movies to see.  It deleted this list the last time I put it on, so I’m a little pissed off about it.  Nevertheless, here is the list of twenty movies to guide you towards laughter:

  1. Office Space
  2. Billy Madison
  3. Happy Gilmore
  4. Mrs. Doubtfire
  5. The Terminal
  6. Airplane
  7. Me, Myself, and Irene
  8. Dumb and Dumber
  9. 40 Year Old Virgin
  10. Meet the Parents/Fockers
  11. Zoolander
  12. South Park:  Bigger, Longer and Uncut
  13. Sideways
  14. Wet Hot American Summer
  15. Half Baked
  16. Waiting…
  17. Monty Python’s Holy Grail
  18. Monty Python’s Meaning of Life
  19. Van Wilder
  20. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

 That’s the list.  No comments because I’m afraid it won’t post right again.  So enjoy these.

How Do You View the World?

Thursday, September 21st, 2006

I just took this fascinating quiz at quizfarm.com.  It’s pretty interesting.  I really didn’t think that a quiz could really nail me down (to a cross).  Just kidding, but it really kind of said who I was.  Try it out.  Try all the quzzes out at quizfarm.com.  I hope you enjoy them. 

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative
94%
Materialist
88%
Postmodernist
81%
Existentialist
81%
Idealist
69%
Romanticist
63%
Modernist
50%
Fundamentalist
50%

What is Your World View?
created with QuizFarm.com

Censorship is *Bleep*ing Bull*bleep*

Monday, September 18th, 2006

I hate it all.  I hate bleeps, I hate those fake words they put in on a TV movie that used to be in theatre.  I *bleep*ing hate it all.  It’s just not natural.  It’s suppressing who we really are.  Forget using replacement words.  Say what you want to say and don’t back down.  Don’t let anyone get in your way.  It’s all about being yourself, whomever that might be.  In a previous post I wrote about comedians who sold out to do movies that were just awful.  It was because they valued money over their true self. Sure, they might have been a watered down version of who they are, but look at Bob Saget, for Christ’s sake.  That guy was a really funny comedian before America’s Funniest Home Videos came out.  He was very blue, but he was also very funny.  I know that foul language is not the choice of every comedian and the fact that they use clever things to disguise what they’re really talking about is nice and all, but the comedians that just say the *bleep* that you’re thinking and do the *bleep* you expect are the ones that deserve to be remembered, but all that is remembered about them is some corny movie they did about bull*bleep* that nobody remembers.  That’s all it is. 

I hate watching comedians on TV and hearing the bleep.  It’s just so frustrating, it makes me swear out loud at the television.  I’m paying for this thing called cable and I believe I deserve to hear everything those people are *bleep*ing saying, not some fake, edited version of their act.  It’s just not fair.  You’ve got to stand up for what you believe in.  I’m tired of hearing about how awful some things are on TV.  Don’t watch *bleep*ing them, then.  Jesus Christ.  Why should we all have to conform to some FCC standards?  Who the hell are they?  Notice I had to use hell instead of *bleep.*  It’s *bleep*ing bull*bleep.*  This post makes no *bleep*ing sense, but *bleep* it.  You know what I’m saying? 

People are always ready to get offended by anything.  Calm the *bleep* down.  It’s not really that bad.  So, some foul language got into the mainstream.  So what.  It’s not going to kill you, so lighten the *bleep* up.  It’s just stupid.  Moronic.  Idiotic.  Would movies like Office Space be as funny if it didn’t have the swear words that totally made the movie? No it wouldn’t.  Those words make a stand.  Because we’re so sheltered from them, every time we hear them, we instantly are attentive.  “Fuck” is the biggest attention-getting word in the world.  Anyone hears “fuck” and they instantly turn to where it’s coming from. It’s inevitable.  Maybe if we started using these words regularly, they would have less negative connotations and be just like the other words in the English language.  Then there would be no need for censorship.  All words created equal.  I mean, it is the tweny-first century, people, so get with the *bleep*ing program.

It’s all the Christian’s fault.  That’s whose fault it is.  I have to blame someone.  And I chose them.  Their whole motto of being afraid of doing things or else some guy who’s in charge of everything will punish you by sending you to some fiery temper is just insane.  What in the hell were they thinking when they wrote this?  Some guy with horns poking you with a pitchfork while you remain there for eternity?  Ha, and that’s what makes you afraid to use the word *bleep?*  Or *bleep*?  How about *bleep?*  Four-letter words that make everyone tick.  It’s just so *bleep*ing amazing.  Send me an email for the uncensored version of this post.  It’s dynomite.  Maybe I should censor the word *joke.*  Wouldn’t that just make everything confusing?  Or the word *punch?*  Take the sentence:  I punched my friend.  It becomes:  I *bleep*ed my friend.  I just don’t care anymore.  It’s all rooted in fear.  This whole censorship thing is all about how people are afraid to hear these words that supposedly can throw a whole country into disarray.  Controlling what we say in a country that values free speech so eloquently is such a hypocrisy that needs to be stopped.  I sure hope I struck a chord here because I’m just sick of it.  This is all I have to say about this topic.  *Bleep*ing enjoy this, mother *bleep*er.

Joke Structure

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

Jokes have to have a certain structure. In order to ensure laughs, the audience has to believe what you’re talking about before you introduce the laugh. That is one of the most challenging parts of comedy. You’re going to want to have honest set-ups and honest but exaggerated punchlines. You see, a joke starts out so logical, with a comedian saying something that we all know, but then can turn it into something so different that it allows for a laugh. Let me go over the five parts of a joke here and explain their integral part in the whole joke schema.

The Set-Up: This is the beginning of the joke. This is where you gain the audience’s trust. You’ll start with something like, “I went to the pound and bought a dog…” or something similar. It’s just something that the punchline has to breathe off of. You couldn’t just walk onstage and say punchlines. The audience would think you were crazy. For some people, the least number of words you can get in your set-up, the better. If you can take your set-up and whittle it down by three words and still get the same or better response, you should do it. Sure, it means the joke will take up less time, but it will also allow for a quicker route to the punchline, which will set up a quicker response. The whole problem is that people, if the set-up is too long, may forget what you’re talking about before you get to the punchline. And that’s not good for comedy. However, the set-up is definitely relevant and it needs to be there for every joke.

The Punchline: This is a very critical aspect of the joke. It’s what initially makes the audience laugh. If it wasn’t for this, there would be no comedians. There are specific proven ways to get to the punchline, and the ones I personally use go something like this: Try and put the punch-word as far to the back of your joke as possible without adding more words. I’ll give you an example from Jim Gaffigan: “Isn’t it funny that when you’re single, all you see are couples, and then when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers?” Notice how the last word in the joke was the punchline. Every other word in the joke is a setup for a surprise at the end. Notice how after the punchline, there were no words. There is a reason for this. If you have the audience laughing and you begin to talk again, they’ll stop laughing to hear what you have to say. It’s called stepping on your laughs. It’s something you should never do because it will condition the audience not to laugh. Sure, they may still be enjoying your show, but you really won’t be able to tell. It also leaves the surprise to the very end so that you have the audience anticipating the jokes, waiting for it, tension is building up, and the one to three words really turns it into a laughfest. And this is something that is definitely useful to know if considering stand-up comedy.

Act-Outs: Act outs are when a comedian will say what he said, use the voice of someone he knows to act out what they said, do some physical stuff onstage, or any ohter miscellaneous actions. It’s when the comedian lets loose from the confines of the joke. It’s the more physical aspect of comedy. Hand gestures, reinactments, it’s all in this category. It takes a lot of mastery to get the act-outs perfect. But it’s your choice how you want to do them. People like Robin Williams and less notably Dane Cook are famous for their antics onstage where they jump around and do crazy stuff. That’s what an act-out is all about.

The Mix: The mix is something in comedy that has to do with “what if?” Like Pablo Francisco did this whole thing about the movie theater previews guy. The guy with the raspy voice? And he was like, “Imagine this guy having sex. ‘Oh, the desire, oh yes, coming to a theatre near you.’” It’s all about putting people in different situations that wouldn’t be normal for them. And it makes it another punchline. Act-outs can be punchlines in their own respect, and a mix can not only make another one, it can have the whole audience in stitches. Just think what if?

Callbacks: Callbacks are one of the best things to watch if you’ve ever seen them. A comedian will tell a joke with a specific punchline and then, later in the show, tell a different joke with the same punchline. This is usually a great hit. This is because it creates this intimacy with the audience that many comedians really need. The only rule of this is the first joke you tell with the punchline has to be amazing. The second joke can be of lower quality, mostly because the attention will be drawn to the punchline again. I really don’t have any jokes off the top of my head for this as an example, but if you understand what I’m talking about, you’ve probably seen it before. I’ve never done it personally, but believe me, I’ve tried to. It just isn’t as easy as it looks. But it’s definitely possible. So don’t let it get away from you.

Honorable Mention-Storytelling: Storytelling can work only if it is done in the following fashion. The story has to have jokes in it. I know many of you Blue Collar Comedy fans have seen Ron White’s Tater Salad story that won the hearts of many. But it wasn’t just a story, it had setup-punch, setup-punch, setup-punch. It wasn’t just a story, it was a barrage of jokes put into a story. Many people don’t realize that when they see the comedian perform, but it’s so well-disguised.

I love to analyze comedians. It’s one of the most rewarding things to do. Just to see how they word their jokes in accordance with other comedians really lets me into their minds and allows me to figure out how to make audiences laugh. There are some political comedians, like Lewis Black, who once went on the Conan O’Brien show after the Dick Cheney shooting incident and opened with two words, “Dick Cheney. That’s all I have to say. Everyone gets the joke. I don’t have to say, ‘Dick Cheney, the vice president who shot his best friend while going quail hunting.’” So there are other ways to go about writing jokes. For beginners, however, I recommend you start by doing it the way I suggested. Just make sure the joke also has attitude. Attitude is also key. Put some emotion into your jokes. Visualize what you’re talking about. Okay, well, I’ve got some jokes to write, later.

What You Do if They Don’t Laugh

Monday, September 11th, 2006

Kill them.  Just kidding.  Every now and then, as all comics know, they’ll come across an audience that just doesn’t laugh.  At all.  Maybe they’re enjoying the show, or maybe they’re not.  Who knows but the minds of the audience?  There are ways that comedians can condition the audience not to laugh.  Here are a few things I’ve done and a few things I’ve read about that can force an audience to feel like laughing would be an inconvenience both to you and to them.

Stepping on your Laughs:  Stepping on your laughs is something a lot of new comedians do.  They’ll tell a joke, the audience will laugh, and while the audience is still laughing, they’ll start another joke or try and continue the same joke, which will in turn stop the audience from laughing because they want to hear what you’re saying.  It’s all about what they call comic timing.  Many people don’t master it for years, while to others, it comes natural.  But, as a start, my advice is to never talk while the audience is still laughing.  Leave a pause.  And even if they don’t laugh at first, maybe they’re still processing the joke.  I tell a few jokes that are a bit cerebral to some extent, and it takes like six to eight seconds to start getting a laugh.  I know jus standing there is hard, but if you add some sort of body language that reinforces the punchline or the overall attitude of the joke, then you’re definitely adding fuel to the laugh fire.  You could shake your head or slump your shoulders, mumble to yourself, but don’t start a new joke too soon.

Speaking Clearly and Loudly:  Now, I know that many comedians I’ve seen speak clearly and in a loud enough tone so that anyone can hear them.  The only notable exception is Steven Wright.  But he at least made himself audiable.  What some people don’t realize is that no matter how funny the joke is, the if the audience can’t properly grasp the concept, then they’re not going to even let out a ha.  You have to paint a “verbal cartoon” in their minds.  You can use physical comedy as well.  Most audience members, if they see you make a joke both physical and verbal, will often laugh at the idea of you doing that.  I did a joke once about getting off a treadmill and how surprised I was that walking actually gets you somewhere.  I just walked really fast across the stage.  This brings me to my next topic.

Body Language:  Body language is the key to success.  You have to exude confidence and convey your jokes in a way that the audience can both see you and hear you.  You have to have some kind of stage prsence.  Don’t go up there all shaky.  Go up there calm, or pissed off if that’s your persona.  It’s all about your feelings.  But let your body do some of the talking.  Your body might not be able to do a joke by itself, but you can use it to enhance the joke experience.  Like if you say you were watching Larry King Live, you could do an impression of him.  You know, the shoulders hunched over and everything.  It adds more to the proverbial pot of laughs. 

Crickets:  If you tell a joke and you hear nothing, or the famous, “You suck!” then your only option is to go on with your next joke.  Maybe the joke took some time to sink in, or maybe they just didn’t get it.  So, move on.  It’s the worst feeling in the world to tell something you think is funny, and the whole audience telling you, “It’s not.”  I remember telling a joke about homeless children getting homeschooled or something and I got gasps from the audicne, then one of the audience members said, “That’s awful!”  And I said, “Yeah, I know it’s awful, but it’s the truth.”  That got a big laugh.  I turned a bad situation into a good one.

Hecklers:  Like Newton’s Third Law of Motion, comedy has the Law of Hecklers.  Wherever you go, whenever you perform, there will be a potential heckler.  This heckler may not have the ability, but a bad joke will give him momentum to start lashing out at you.  You should have a few lines prepared to deal with hecklers.  But nothing too mean.  Just something that will shut him up.  One of my favorite lines was, “Shh, I’ll kill you.”  But you want to make it seem natural.  Don’t rehearse it like robocomic.  But don’t be too loose either.  Find a happy medium when considering dealing with hecklers.

Have Confidence:  Don’t get flustered if they don’t laugh.  Maybe it’s something about your delievery, or maybe it’s the audience that night.  Who knows?  All I know is that even when they don’t laugh, you can still go on with your act.  Make a comment about how it didn’t work, if you want, but don’t dwell on the fact that it wasn’t right for that audience.  But always exude confidence onstage. 

Leaving you now because I have to take a shower before work, I just want to say that comedy is not for the timid, unless that’s who you really are.  It’s so hard to make an audience laugh, so when you are finally able to do it, you should keep doing whatever you did to make that happen.  Edit, rearrange, and cut certain jokes from time to time.  Try out new material, knock off old clunkers.  It’s all about editing and putting things in a line so that it will knock the audience on their backside.  Peace everyone.

Deal or No Deal

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

Howie Mandel makes me laugh.  I saw him do stand-up on Comedy Central’s Secret Stash about a year ago and I’ve been looking for his older comedy for awhile.  But when I found out he was hosting a television gameshow, I thought, “Damn it!”  I said that because I knew he was going to be censored in a very strict manner.  Which is one reason why I hate network television.  People aren’t allowed to speak their mind.  It’s all about who gets offended these days.  It’s never how something can be made better by some off-color humor.  This post relates to the show Deal or No Deal, but also to every comedian who sold out to be famous and wasn’t half as funny as their true self while in the Hollywood shows and movies that are so critially acclaimed.

Howie Mandel:  I figured I’d start with him.  I remember watching his children’s show Bobby’s World and I remember thinking, “Wow, this show is stupid.”  I never really thought much of him as a person.  I didn’t know what potential he had when he can just let loose in a nightclub.  The vision I had of Howie Mandel was a watered-down version, just like the one I also saw on Deal or No Deal.  However, I saw the second watered-down version of him after I saw the real him.  So it kind of shocked me that he would still take the money and run while censoring himself into Bob Saget (who by the way will be mentioned in this article).  But it came down to one thing:  Take the money and be lame, or not take the big paycheck and remain unable to reach a broader audience, but still be able to be who you truly are.  Now, it’s quite a predicament, I know, but I’m sure it’s not easy to make a decision for sure. 

Eddie Murphy:  Eddie Murphy is a great comedian.  However, even though a few of his movies were remotely funny, he still was saying things that other people put in his mouth.  The older he’s got, the more kid-friendly movies he’s done.  And they’re just awful now.  I can’t even believe people go to see movies like Pluto Nash and Daddy Day Care.  Ugh.  You’d have to pay me to go see stuff like that.  But he’s done movies back in the day that were so amazing.  Take the original Nutty Professor for example.  That was as close to the real Eddie as mass media would allow.  Typical humor to his style, and the fact that he played almost every character at that dinner table.  Those were the days.  At least for him.  But of course, Dr. Dolittle was to follow, along with an array of subpar comedies from a man that changed from a funny guy to a family-friendly cop-out comedian.  I’m sure he did it for the money, but after you get your fifth 20 million dollar check, isn’t it about time to be yourself again?  Isn’t it?

Redd Foxx:  Redd Foxx was one of the bluest comedians of his era, and yet, on his hit show Sanford and Son, he was nothing but an old man with hardly any sense of humor.   Sure, it was funny when he called Lamont Wilson a “big dummy,” but that’s about it.  I remember hearing just one joke of Redd Foxx’s, and I laughed my ass off.  But, for some reason, he never really became his real self on the show.  He was this watered-down pony express.  It was still pretty funny, but I knew he was funnier.

Bob SagetThis guy is the king of selling out.  I remember hearing someone telling me that Bob Saget was funny.  And I thought, No, he can’t be funny.  I’ve seen him on America’s Funniest Home Videos< and he’s anything buy funny.  All he ever does are those stupid voices and acts like a moron. He can’t possibly be funny.  And then I saw a video of him performing on stage and I laughed my ass off, again.  Where was all this material on the show?  On <a href=”>America’s Funniest Home Videosand he’s anything buy funny.  All he ever does are those stupid voices and acts like a moron. He can’t possibly be funny.  And then I saw a video of him performing on stage and I laughed my ass off, again.  Where was all this material on the show?  On America’s Funniest Home Videos, he wasn’t who he really is and that really hurt his career. Now everyone thinks of him as someone who does stupid jokes during someone else’s home videos.The whole point of htis post was to show that all these people had been gvien a deal that would censor them and give them loads of money, or be themselves and continue what they’re alredy doing for less money.  I guess what they say is true:  Money is the root of all evil.  I mean I can understand that some people, like Jerry Seinfeld, didn’t really need to censor himself because he already was a clean comedian.  He was incharge of his show.  Louis CK is making a show on HBO that’s pretty funny.  It’s a sitcom.  I saw one peisode and I enjoyed it.  It was all things from his stand-up act.  Jesus Christ, I’m going to have to add a lot of links to this article.  Wish me luck!

How I Write Jokes

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

People will often ask me, “Andrew, how do you come up with this stuff?”  It’s not an easy thing to explain.  You have to really be me to know how the inner workings come up with such prepostorous stuff.  I never know when it will strike me, but I make sure I always have something to write on when it does.  It’s not even really making the effort either.  I mean, sometimes I’ll try to think up some jokes and maybe I’ll get one or two good ones out of five that I feel I had to “force.”  But it’s better for me to think of jokes while in a conversation or while thinking about something else.  I think of more observational stuff when I’m just talking and hanging out.  It’s more or less the equivalent of a joke writing opiphany.  Or however you spell that word.  Sometimes I’ll just write stuff and shit will just come out.  It’s like one of my jokes was “in the closet” waiting to burst out and tell the world it exists.  I don’t know.  It just happens. 

Sometimes, when I watch comedians, I develop ideas about different things.  That is why I love to watch different comedians and see how my ideas are similar to them.  But many of my ideas are different than theirs as well.  But one comedian, named Jim Gaffigan, did this joke that just spoke so true to me, it was amazing:  “You ever had one thing to do all day, but you just didn’t do it?  You’re like, ‘I gotta go to the bank, but that means I’d have to put on pants.  I’ll have to do that next week.’”  That just reminds me of how I think.  Relatable material.  In some respect, that’s what sells.  One thing that really resonates with me is getting all motivated to do something and then just “not.”  It’s like you get all geared up to do something and then ya don’t.  It’s like, “I’m gonna start my own business, yeah!  Let’s do it!”  Then the next day, I’m like, “What the hell was I thinking?  Starting my own business?  How gay is that?”

One thing I like about developing jokes is putting a set list together.  I like to surprise people.  For example, mixing up jokes is one of my specialties. Many comedians you know like to transition their material, but not me.  I do it like I just thought of each joke as it comes to me. It’s more real, at least to me.  Like I may do a joke about volunteering at an old folk’s home, then go to Native Americans trying to get a reservation at the Olive Garden.  It’s all up here.

One tool that really works well for developing original premises is journaling.  Just either when you wake up, or right before you go to bed, just write stuff down.  Write whatever comes off your hand to the pen.  Whatever is in the back of your mind, push it to the front and let it loose.  Jerry Seinfeld used to write for one hour every day and used a timer, supposedly.  That’s a little too structured for me. 

A lot of comedians like to tell stories.  I find that really boring, unless there’s jokes peppered throughout the whole thing.  If there isn’t, it’s like watching a slide show of my aunt’s trip to the barren landscape of Arizona.  I mean, come on.  Make me laugh, don’t make me sleep.  People like stories, though.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because they feel they can relate to it.  Like a story about a breakup.  But if you’re going to do that, at least have a few punchlines in there.  Not only one because it’s going to take too long to get where you need to go, which will make the audience forget what you were talking about.

One-liners are jokes that often get a big response, but they often don’t have much substance to them.  But they can be very funny.  Steven Wright, Rodney Dangerfield, Mitch Hedberg.  They’re all somewhat household names among comedy fans.  Among non-comedy fans, I’m sure no one knows who they are, but that’s not important.  They’re not the people who will be able to carry on long conversations about the dilvery of Carrot Top

I really want to call Comedy Cabana and see if I can open for someone soon.  It’s mostly going to be after I get my driver’s license (I’m 20).  Once I can go down there and hang out with the comedians and eventually headline there, I’ll be awesome.  It’s just the transportation problem right now.  Eventually, I’m hoping to go somewhere that I have at least six or seven comedy clubs to oscillate between, which will give me optimal stage time.  Also, open mic nights are key.  I’ve done my share of those.  All I gotta say is I have the material.  If you were to look at all my jokes, (100s of pages), you’d know I could wow quite a bit of audiences, so I need to start performing more and getting more laughs.   But I believe I’ve got the material down.  On to performing!  Peace out.  (I have performed over ten times. I just need to do it more frequently.)

My Favorite Comedians

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Here is an ongoing list of the comedians I would recommend to anyone who has a love for comedy. All of these people are very talented and you will get your money’s worth, whether you go to a show of theirs or buy a CD. Here’s my list, in no particular order.

  1. Jerry Seinfeld
  2. Steven Wright
  3. Stephen Lynch
  4. Jim Gaffigan
  5. Jeremy Hotz
  6. Todd Barry
  7. Arj Barker
  8. Alonzo Bodden
  9. Drew Carey
  10. George Carlin
  11. Adam Corolla
  12. Dave Chappelle
  13. Louis CK
  14. David Cross
  15. Rodney Dangerfield
  16. Jimmy Carr
  17. Greg Fitzsimmons
  18. Zach Galifianakis
  19. Kyle Grooms
  20. Mitch Hedberg
  21. Richard Jeni
  22. Lisa Lampanelli
  23. Dennis Leary
  24. Demertri Martin
  25. Kevin Nealon
  26. Dwayne Perkins
  27. Brian Regan
  28. Freddy Soto
  29. Nick Swardson
  30. Jon Stewart
  31. Tig
  32. Tony Woods
  33. Howie Mandel
  34. Robert Schimmel
  35. Richard Pryor (sort of)
  36. Bill Hicks

There you have it. The list of comedians I really enjoy, although I really couldn’t rate one better than the other, although I could, but I wouldn’t want to hurt the other comedians’ names’ feelings. Like any of these people will ever read this blog. Ha! That would be funny as hell, wouldn’t it? But I thought, just for the hell of it, I would put a list of who I like, and if you are so inclined, feel free to put a list of your favorites on here, too. Be sure to include whoever you find funny, and not who everyone else likes, but you think is just okay. It’s all about honesty here, although I have no way of knowing if you lied. I just hope no one puts Carrot Top or Louie Anderson, who I find mildly funny, but not in the top 40 or even close. Well enjoy! Good day, you all.