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This is not going to be an overly extended post, but it is just a thought on how to control impulse spending and also how to spend less while attracting abundance. I recently bought these Moneybands from this great website, linked previously. They are very nice and keep both my money and my cards secure, so secure it is quite a challenge to get them out. This is the main reason I bought them. If you trap your money in a place where it is hard to get to, then you will be more reluctant to spend it. It even encloses all your credit and debit cards in the dead center of this pile of money so that there is no way that you could just put it on your card real quick. Now, when I carry it around, I am rather hesitant to make a purchase that would make my life so inconvenient as to take the rubber band off, sift through the bills for the right one, and then clumsily hand the bills to the cashier, while digging in my pocket for change. If I know I am going to be spending money for sure, I take the amount out of the trap and use that in another pocket so that if I overspend at all, I’ll need to go into the trap again.

Don’t get me wrong, spending money is a form of giving, but when you are spending on things you do not need and will probably not use, it helps to have a way to stop this impulse, or as Fight Club would call it, the Ikea nesting instinct. I had bought two Jimi wallets and a couple leather ones before I settled on these extremely inexpensive rubber bands. And if you want to go super low-tech, I recommend a celery rubber band. You know, the one that holds the celery together in the supermarket. It works almost as well as these longer-lasting rubber bands. But if you buy enough celery, you are probably better off just sticking with those.

And I have to say that this has helped me monitor my spending significantly. But if I really want something, and I mean really want it, I will go through the painstaking process of removing my money from this trap and fumbling around for the exact change. Sure, using a debit or credit card is so much easier, and that is the problem. I hope someday we go back to gold, so that way, in order to purchase something of great value, we would need a pickup truck. Anyway, just a thought I was having while not buying a tempting item. I hope you got something out of this. If not, I’ll have another article soon.

When it comes to embracing my passion, it is a no-brainer for me. Comedy is my bread and butter. I am looking for new and exciting places to perform and get this off the ground floor. It is going to take a massive commitment from me to pour all my heart into it, but I know it will be worth it in the long run. If I can successfully accomplish this goal of making a living from telling jokes and just clowning around onstage, I believe it will allow me to do so much more in addition. I need to do this. This is not just a want, but it is a must. There is no other reason to live as far as I am concerned. If I do not go after this goal whole-heartedly, then I have failed my reason for existence.

I do my own thing up there on the stage and I am outside what anyone would expect. I am still working to perfect my craft and be able to go for more than 20 minutes at a time. One liners are hard to memorize. But I find it is easier to put them into little stories or relatable categories and just flow from there. I take Jerry Seinfeld’s advice to leave the audience gasping for breath…because of the laughter, or maybe the laughing gas. I truly feel more alive when I do that than any other time and time seems to stand still. Writing a joke and performing it is one of my greatest joys and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I believe you know it when you have found your passion. For me, it is unquestionable.

I study comedians religiously and I know what works and what doesn’t. I know the whole format. I understand what audiences are looking for. I can market myself to a certain crowd, one who has intelligence, humor, and a bit of sarcasm left in them. I know the value of laughter. It is worth more than any money I will ever make. But it would certainly be great to do what I love and make enough money to go around. I am setting this intention in stone, putting it on my wall or on my laptop’s screensaver and reviewing how I can get closer to it every day. My mission is now in motion.

I put this on hold for awhile as I dealt with a health problem I was having as a result of the brain tumor I suffered with five years ago. But I learned something in this experience. I can’t let anything hold me back. I can’t let anything, no matter how debilitating, obstruct my dreams. I have a unique story to tell, one from the eyes of a survivor, and one that bears repeating. And it is always better to tell a story with humor and possibly some exaggerations, purely for comic effect. Whether it be a white lie about my lactose intolerant milkman, or a funny story about how my Amish friend never calls me anymore, it is a fun ride worth enduring. And I invite you to take your passion into full gear this week as well. What other reason do you have for getting out of bed every morning? To get the daily news?

This was just an experiment I tried while bored and looking for a way to pass the time. It is just a collection of small sayings that, at the time, I thought were interesting. Here they are:

All these are copyrighted by me, so enjoy them at your own risk.

Shopping malls. Factory farms. Death camps. Slavery. Corpocracies. Oligopolies. Television. The Internet. Is all of this really “progress?” Is the continuing rape and destruction of land and environment going anywhere? What are we, as a species, trying to prove by doing such things? How is this helping us raise our consciousness? The media keeping us in fear over how many people died today, that you could be murdered in your sleep by one of those faceless evil monsters that always seem to be lurking around in your neighborhood. Or the advertisements that come on for security systems right after. “If you buy this ADT alarm system, you will be safe from all predators.” The media is nothing more than an advertising medium to persuade people to further participate in the destruction of the world by buying more things that come not from the store, but from the Earth. Consumption is an addiction, but to everyone, it’s okay. No one is judged for it, and yet it is far more destructive than anything else.

And I don’t blame people for being in this sort of mindset. It is forced upon you at every angle. The next thing you buy will solve all your problems. That new camera phone will allow me to preserve my memories for just this much longer. The new laptop will be faster and easier to use, so that the rest of my valuable time can be taken up watching television shows that depict people who are living beyond any means I can ever afford. Television will tell me how to live my life and what I should consider important, not to mention which brands I should buy. It will tell me how to think and how to react to certain circumstances and I have to passively accept it as the images just keep flowing, all of which I have no control over. I am doing exactly what they want me to do, and it is making corporations a whole lot of money, but not myself. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and my house has a foreclosure on it, but at least I have that new deluxe, premium, luxury printer-copier-fax machine-toaster-washing machine combination with three free stacks of printing paper and one box of fabric softener.

I guess most of these people take their spending habits from their government. Look at how far the U.S. as a whole is in debt. If the entire government isn’t going to be responsible with their money, then why should the citizens? Why shouldn’t they just all max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives (and beyond) paying back to these corporations that get richer and richer from your 18% interest every month of every year? These companies even market to people with bad credit because they know that these people will make them a whole lot of money because they have a history of buying things they cannot afford. It is this type of manipulation that really pisses me off. And I feel bad for the people who are trapped in situations like that. They are dead broke and are thousands in debt and there is no way out, except bankruptcy. Then they are owned by their credit score and can’t get a loan, can’t buy a house, a car, a fucking toaster without surrendering to a credit history report.

What ever happened to saving for things until you had enough money? The joy of counting your money as you saved up for the new bike or the video game your parents wouldn’t buy for you. I’ll tell you what happened. The invention of credit cards makes it so easy to buy something now and pay for it later, at a much higher cost. But when you are out buying it, no one thinks of the consequences until the bill comes in. Then it’s like, “Oh, shit. Remember that 4-pack of HD-ready televisions we bought? Yeah, they want $8000 this month, and that’s just our minimum payment.” I love how these commercials say “No money down,” and that attracts people because they don’t have to pay for it right away, but they still get to have it. “Look at our beautiful couch. Cost us nothing, so far.” But the whole notion that buying these things will ease our insecurities and make us feel good about ourselves is just the advertising industry trying to tell us how to live. “If you don’t have and iPod, you’ll never fit in. You’ll be the outcast of society.” “Well, I’d better go pick up that iPod. I don’t want to be some loser with no friends. I must conform or suffer extreme isolation the rest of my life.” And that’s the consciousness that advertising attempts to shove down our throats. The fact that some item, some thing, will ease our problems and make life so much better. And most of the time, these advertisers are wrong.

This is why I choose (consciously) to adopt what I refer to as minimalism. You own the bare essentials. You only hold onto what is useful , beautiful or brings you joy and discard the rest. You embrace what is referred to as a simple lifestyle, but in a voluntary way. I did a joke onstage about my minimalism once that went something like this, “Instead of looking for apartments in the want ads, I look for any empty closets.” It is liberating to think this way because instead of looking for what else you can accumulate, you now look for what you no longer need to do without, like my life-size Spongebob Squarepants doll. I am further limiting my television exposure as well and the Internet, which has become my surrogate television with the advent of Youtube and other television-esque websites. I just bought this wallet online called the Jimi, which is a very small and compact wallet that only holds the minimal of items. Five cards and three dollar bills. I just don’t want to have a wallet like George Costanza from Seinfeld. I remember a quote from that episode: “Everything in that wallet I need.” And then Jerry takes out a card, “Show this card at your local Miami area gas station and receive a free ‘Save the Tiger’ T-shirt.” I guess free clothes is one of his top priorities.

Being minimalist is soothing, liberating, and just wonderful to be exact. The best part about it is I do not need to work excessive hours to meet my needs. I sympathize for the people who work 60 hour work weeks to keep up with buying all the unnecessary items they think they need, like a new outfit every week. I really feel for you, and I want you to know there is a way out. Move into a smaller house, get a smaller car, buy less stuff, sell all the extraneous clutter that has found its way into your life, quit your evil corporate job and find something that suits you, that really fits your character. Drop out of the rat race and start to slow down to the speed of life. Do only the essential tasks to bring you joy, happiness and fulfillment. Don’t buy into buying things just because your neighbors do. The one who dies with the most toys does not win. The one who dies with the most toys is dead, just like the one who dies with five dollars in his pocket and no current residence. And you can’t take that new stereo system with you. You can bury it with your body, but where your spirit is going, you might as well sell everything and give the money to charity before you depart into the big sleep. Contribute gently into that good night, and do it peacefully.

I have to admit the first thing that sparked this minimalist behavior was a movie from Hollywood. It was called Fight Club. It was the one line that really said it all to me: “The things you own start to own you.” And there were other various lines in the movie along the same premise and it was what some would call counterculture. It was what others would call Zen, enlightenment, or liberation. Now, I didn’t accept the whole film’s message and start underground boxing rings and terrorize cities, although I did so something similar on one of the college campuses I attended. It wasn’t nearly anywhere as extreme. It was only after I got out of there that I started practicing minimalism and the theory that a cluttered home equals a cluttered life.

I started listening to media sources outside the mainstream, such as anti-television personas such as Ron Kaufman, and adopted some of the philosophies of Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson. I began perusing simplicity sites and forums to see how much further down I could go. I surely didn’t want to end up with an empty room or an empty house, but questioning what was necessary and what made me happy as the only essentials, I began to strip down significantly. Some of my family members would gasp as they saw my perfectly organized room, free of clutter. They gave me praise for being so diligent and disciplined, but I did not do this for their approval. I did this for myself. I did this to avoid spending countless hours looking for my cell phone or glasses. I did this to feel free of the consumer culture and that mindset that rules ever fiber of our being. I breathe easily knowing the consumption will only get worse and more unsustainable until it destroys itself and completely vanishes. It will be the next step in our evolution. Some people say this will happen as early as 2012. It’s certainly possible, but I don’t see it happening that fast, but I can’t rule anything out. I try to keep an open mind.

So very few blogs of today talk about minimalism and its benefits. Simplicity is big, but minimalism is not as big, but they are essentially very similar, but minimalism is to the extreme. They should have it in the X-games. The challenge could be to see who could live on nothing but so much food, a bed, and a shack in the woods for a year. Just tossing ideas out there. I take great comfort in knowing that my wardrobe will probably last me at least five more years, except undergarments of course. The cost of a thing is the amount of my life I have to give up in order to attain it. I am not saying that everyone is trying to sell you something, but I find it interesting, studying Zen and all, which pretty much endorses the minimalist lifestyle, saying you have to buy special mats to meditate on and a Zen garden, and some sort of robe. Mostly everything, but not completely anything, is a marketing campaign and I am so glad I am no longer a part of it. Come join me in my minimalism. As long as you’re not a minimalist whose only agenda is to maximize profits, you’re golden in my book.

It is now pomegranate season again, and as I mentioned last year, I was still a bit intimidated by the fruit with a thousand seeds. Armed with nothing but a knife, a bowl, and a pomegranate, I went out into the unchartered wilderness of mysterious and exotic fruits, and I came out a victor. So far this year, I’ve eaten two and I’ve gotten them done in less than a half hour, which is much faster than my previous attempts last year where I used a spoon to try and pluck every last seed out of their homes. This year, I took a new approach. I decided I would use my hands, which undoubtedly would be stained red by the conclusion of this episode, but it would allow me to eat in the most efficient way possible. Cutting this mammoth fruit into fours and further breaking it up with my hands while diving down for ten to twenty seeds at a time, it was pure bliss. Before I knew, it, the only seeds left were the ones in the bowl, smothered with a small quantity of juice, which tastes so wonderful unpasteurized. The only problem is that this juice stains everything it touches. Why are antioxidant juices so staining? It seems as though the more potent the antioxidant, the harder it is to get out of a white T-shirt.

It is by far the most interesting fruit, except maybe the kiwano, which has spikes and does not look like it is very inviting to eat. It is probably one of the only fruits that can be called a “deadly weapon.” I would like to try one of those some day, but right now I just wouldn’t know where to start. Ever since I got on what some people refer to as a “health kick,” I have tried more and more new fruits, most of which I had never even heard of or was afraid of. Just to list a few: a pluot, a tangelo, an avocado, papaya, mango, kiwi, bosc pear, pomegranate, mangostein, and someday the kiwano. The only reason I may never try the kiwano is because it reminds me too much of the dreadful acting skills of Keanu.

Well, all I can really say is that experimenting with different types of fruits/vegetables has really paid off so far, although sometimes I get disappointed, like with the avocado, it is worth it for the experience and it will broaden your variety within each meal. Going raw was at one point an option for me, that is consuming only raw foods, but right now I do not feel that I can make the transition quickly, so I am still eating vegetable soups and with Thanksgiving coming up and a dead bird in my freezer, I have to assume a turkey will become part of my diet this Thursday. If it is any consolation, I did get the turkey for free. One thing I will never bring myself to eat is veal, for obvious reasons and the vegetarian movement has somewhat stopped at my house. Even though I know that most of the meat we buy (and believe me, I do not eat much) is full of antibiotics and growth hormones and of animal diseases, you fry it in olive oil or butter and I can’t tell the difference. Of course I thank the animal for giving its life so I can eat, but it can’t hear me because it’s dead.

I do feel better when I do not consume animal products for weeks at a time. It makes me feel lighter and more spiritual, but definitely not self-righteous. I keep my diet to myself, except on this blog. People always want to know why you live a particular way and I say that if you are so curious, why don’t you try whatever I am doing for yourself and see how it goes? I cannot tell you if something will work for you. I can tell you if it works for me, but I am not you and I do not know the extent to which your social conditioning will not allow you to make any significant changes for fear of being excluded from “the group.” I figure that if you want to try new things and other people tell you that you’re crazy, it is because they are indeed scared that what they have been doing all those years in contrary to the best way to live and do not want someone like you to show them up. Or maybe I am just talking for the sake of doing so. Either way, I know what works for me.

Okay, off to buy some more POMs. The best nature has to offer.

I’ll never forget my last post on censorship. It was a bit blatant and disregarding, but that was me back then. Censorship is something I still completely disagree with. Why should we censor what was said or shown? Because of the children? Because someone might get offended? Why are people so afraid of offending people? Don’t intend to offend people, but always speak the truth about how you feel. And if how you really feel is offensive to some people, then so be it. Who decides what is appropriate anyway? Who has the moral judgment of what can be said and what cannot? If comedians like Bill Hicks or George Carlin were censored, nobody would watch them. I remember hearing of Bill Hicks performing on the Tonight Show or one of those late-night talk shows and he didn’t even swear in his act on the show, but he talked about Jesus and pro-life people and how he hated the pro-lifers and he was censored. What he did there was art and imagine what would happen if all the artwork we’ve grown accustomed to was censored. Many of the great artists painted pictures of nude people. What is so revolting about a naked human body? Well, some of them are pretty revolting…

I know we’ve made great leaps and bounds in censorship. You can almost say anything on television now, except the F-word. But you know it is there, underneath the bleep. And I know that people are offended by swear words sometimes because it is what they refer to as “uneducated language.” It is the theory that people who use those words cannot think of a better word to come up with because of their limited vocabularies. And sometimes that’s true. But other times, it is a way to express yourself so well that no other word can substitute it. The F-word has so much power today and I wish we would just accept it completely. If anyone ever says it, it gets everyone’s attention in the room, although I would have to think that is because it is forbidden in its own way. In the proper context, it is a great word, and so are a lot of other words.

And they are just words. Why are people so offended by words? I am so much more offended by actions than I am by words. Actions are so much more definite. Words disappear in the moonlight ten seconds after they are said, unless they are on national broadcast television. There are some words I do believe shouldn’t be said, like racial words, but I have to go by the mantra: “Either it is all okay, or none of it is okay.” I remember when the cartoon show South Park had a dispute with Comedy Central over showing the prophet Muhammed on one of their shows. It is supposed that in the Muslim religion, they are not allowed to see a picture of Muhammed. Here’s a question: If they’ve never seen the guy, how would they know that they saw him then? These people could just be saying it is Muhammed. Not to mention that Comedy Central’s South Park had shown Muhammed some seasons earlier in an episode. I believe it was only because of that cartoon in Denmark that they were no longer allowed to do so.

But I do love people and mass communication that pushes the envelope. I don’t mean people like Howard Stern and whoever else does radio and television that is not conducive to high-awareness living. I’m talking about shows and broadcasts that are smart, funny, witty, and actually have a point to their existence. Anyone can go on the air and say a bunch of swear words and sexual references, but if you can do that consciously and constructively to make something bigger, something beyond the language, then it is worth partaking in. I’m starting to get into comedians that are not only popular in their own little cult following, but also honest. Bill Hicks, smoking a cigarette onstage, says something like, “I wanna tell something to you nonsmokers out there. You’re gonna die, too. I just thought I pop that fucking bubble of yours. At least when i get sick, they’ll know what to do. When you get sick, they’re gonna have to figure out what’s going on with you.” That’s not exactly how it went, but you get the idea. These are things that we all know, but are often unwilling to face. And when you start to realize who the great ones truly were, you understand why.

I feel kind of bad for those who have to battle the censors all the time, never knowing what is acceptable, always having to ask some corporation what they can air on next week’s broadcast. It must be very difficult meeting all those demands. You have a really good idea, but you can’t put it on, so now you have to change it, edit it, etc. And it becomes a soulless shadow of what was there before. Thank God for Youtube. At least now we have this device where there are no censors, no authority, except the owners of Youtube, but there is still censorship on body parts. It’s fine, though, because it is freedom of speech I really feel passionate about. At least real life is uncensored, but reality TV sucks, because of the censors among other things. Ideas should flow freely through our consciousness so that we can take in what we can use and send the rest downstream for someone else to receive.

So, don’t censor your life. Say how you feel and be who you are. Don’t be who other people want you to be just for external approval. Approve of yourself on the inside and spread that out into the world. Don’t let others control your non-destructive behavior. Just be and allow yourself to remain still. Now breathe in…breathe out… Until next time, I’m Ted Copple.

Why can’t I just be normal? Probably because I do not want to be a carbon copy of conformity. I don’t want to become a victim of groupthink. And I certainly do not want to be susceptible to dogma. I don’t buy into the wisdom of crowds, nor do I accept consumerism. I don’t let fear shrink my perspective, nor do I use cliché terms to describe my life. I am unique, just like everyone else, but it is that uniqueness that separates me from the rest of the world. According to the type of brain cancer I had, I truly am one in a million. And I embrace that fact every day. I live in the present, not in the past or future because the present is all we truly have. The future does not exist, and when it does, it will be the present. And vice-versa for the past. I disrespect authority and challenge conventional wisdom. I am not a sheep, nor am I a sacrificial lamb. This is my creed. I take the road less traveled and the path those are afraid to navigate. And even though I may not be at the top of my game yet, I can see the forest for the trees. Well, I guess I use some cliché phrases. I think about death and where we are going in an associative way, not the dissociative way those Goth kids do. And this is why I simply don’t fit in. But I don’t justify my behavior from external approval. I can see the bigger picture. I know my lifestyle is worth something to me, and that it will help ease the burden on our ecosystem and I allow for myself to be.

I loathe politicians and know they only give us the illusion of freedom of choice. I think the education system is meant to just get us smart enough to be obedient to a system that is screwing us over big time. I embrace that fact and resist it to its very core. And I completely understand why our government thinks they need to wield more and more power over us because they are scared of a revolution. They are in a good position and if I were there, I’m not saying I would behave the same way, but I don’t think I would be willing to give up all my power, But I am not there, so I am not so attached to power. I am more attached to unconditional love, but I feel attachment is the root of all suffering. I am an Eastern man living in Western culture. I am a minimalist whose only interest is maximizing joy. I believe laughter truly is the best medicine and the side effects are a lot less severe than prescription drugs. But more importantly, I just am.

My inner child is still alive, my shadow self is running rampant, and my consciousness is on the rise. My mind is clear, my perception is in the present, and I take a universal perspective. I’m an optimistic nihilist who enjoys reading dark novels while looking at the lighter side of life. I’m an avid fan of dark comedies and think suicide can be funny. Take this for instance. “I’m suicidal, but I’m also a procrastinator, so I don’t think I’ll ever do it.” It is a joke I am currently working on. I can laugh at myself without my ego or pride getting in the way and I discount social conditioning. I am independent while at the same time interdependent. I believe Zen is basically sitting around doing nothing, but it feels good, so I run with it. I think the iPod must have been created by Satan and the iPhone, some people are too dependent on technology. I don’t derive my happiness from external circumstances, but rather bring happiness to them. I am a survivor who has no fear of death. As Forrest Gum once said, “Mama says that death is a part of life.” So true when you think about it. I believe in South Park’s reasoning that either it’s all okay or none of it’s okay. And if someone gets offended, well, they need to realize it is all a joke. You shouldn’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I believe the semicolon has its uses and the single quote is overrated. I believe email hurts the economy and also damages our spirit. I believe the best way to contact someone is through a hand-written letter. I hate phones and cell phone especially. I believe the best communication is face to face. I guess I’m just old-fashioned. I don’t even know what to call this post. Is ita mission statement or a manifesto? I’ve never been big on labels. Labels are very limiting. Just like judgments. I don’t judge people anymore than I judge myself. Who am I to judge? Even if I was a judge, I wouldn’t feel right. Who am I to say how people should live their lives? People need to make their own choices and live with the consequences, whether they are good or bad. I’m not here to save anyone. Let the Christians do that with their evangelical nature. I’m looking forward to the Rapture because I know I’ll be left behind. And I don’t think Jesus could leave anyone behind anyway. And I don’t want to say he’s not coming back, but I think when and if he does, he will get an iPod. How else is he going to listen to all the Christian rock music?

I believe that life is nothing but a dream, so peaceful and serene. I have been trying to become lucid in this dream. I believe if you cannot laugh at a situation, then you need to broaden your perspective. I live moment to moment and I have no regrets. This was fun. I’ll have to write something like this again. Until next time, do whatever you feel is right. Don’t become one of those robots I see running around like a chicken with their head cut off. Become what you aspire to be. What else do you have to do?

Nature is the most beautiful asset out there right now, which is why I am such an advocate of sustaining it. When I am in the woods, away from any man-made structures, on a path through trees and shrubs, it just makes my day. Some people may call it an escape, but I call it going home. That is where we came from. The forest. Our biology is rooted there. I am a strong advocate of naturalism, and I know for a fact we are not supposed to live the way society conditions us to do so. If God has a Divine Plan, I’m pretty sure a credit report was not any part of it. Neither was the IRS.

If I had the survival skills and was able to, I would go into the woods in a heartbeat. I’d build a log cabin and live out my days in a peaceful setting. But you can’t do that stuff anymore. Every square inch of land is owned by somebody and God forbid if you step on “their property.” It still does not make sense to me. How can someone “own” land? I know you people paid good money to get the particular lot you have, but whenever I think of the space in which I occupy, I can’t help but think of all the wildlife that was displaced because of our need to get a bigger house with a bigger yard and a perfect lawn, and the trees imported from their native areas projected onto our land, out of place.

What gets to be really depressing in some respects is I can see the deforestation happening before my eyes. Every day, another forest gets ripped up in the name of “progress,” while we cut down the Earth’s biodiversity more still. But we all put it out of sight, out of mind, but you can’t be living consciously if you do not acknowledge the atrocities us humans have bestowed upon our Mother Earth. And we also treat Father Time like a commodity. “Time is money.” “Stop wasting time.” I remember Jerry Seinfeld talking about time, how people go around, trying to save time, and then when they’re about to die, they’re like, “Wait a minute, what happened to all the time I saved? There has to be some left!” I don’t have the exact wording, but the idea remains complete.

I can tell you the answer to “Why are we here?” has nothing to do with building more malls and boutiques, not to mention displacing millions of animals and plant life. We are not here to dominate the Earth, and make it our bitch. We are not here to go into fictitious wars for oil and to stage terrorist attacks. To tell you the truth, I do not know exactly why we are here and what all this means, but if you look at everything we do as a species from a global/spiritual perspective, you start to see how insane a lot of it is. Our lives, everything we stand for, is so trivial, and yet we keep moving onto the next socially conditioned activity, pretending we like it, pretending that everything is fine. But it’s not. And nature helps me remember that. Nature helps me feel whole. It is my home away from home (or lot).

We are a genetic experiment gone awry at this point, and although I know the human race’s time is limited here, I do not root for us. I know we will eventually destroy ourselves somehow in the near future. But it’s okay. The Earth will just shrug and say, “Well, that one didn’t work either.” More than 25 species go extinct every day, and we’ll just be another one of them. Sure, we’ll be the one that caused the most damage, but in the timelessness of nature and the universe, we will be forgotten. If there is no one left to observe us and record our activities, we will simply fade away. And there’s nothing bad about it. It just is. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you look at life from the perspective of the entire universe, you start to see how trivial a lot of the things you worry about are. Life is something that is infinite, at least for the time our planet exists, and no matter what happens (even an asteroid smashing into our beloved homeleand), the universe will survive, persevere. Just think about how the dinosaurs felt when they were wiped off the planet. It was a sad time, no doubt, but the Earth recovered and eventually it will have to go through another “cleansing phase.” Do not fear this, as it is just another way the ecosystem rebalances itself. Maybe it’s a little payback for our destructive behaviors. I don’t know. I didn’t write the manual on how the universe works, I just love to observe it in its glory.

I think the main reason why people don’t respect nature is because they don’t spend enough time in it to really experience it. This is why I encourage you to take some time, whenever you have some, and go out into the wilderness and see the amazing things that go on there. They may not be newsworthy, like the murder downtown, but it will be an experience you will enjoy. Never take the forests for granted because they may not be here for long. But I know they will return, once we realize what we are doing on a global level, or alternatively, we are wiped off of this blue-green marble due to an extinction event such as a pandemic. And that’s okay. I can live with that. The universe knows what it’s doing, probably a lot more than we do. Maybe one more strip mall is all it will take before it says, “Enough!,” and casts us off into oblivion. Or maybe it will take centuries. Either way, I’m here for the ride. I hope you are, too.

I am currently working on a set list for Monday and Tuesday as I will be performing at the Comedy Cabana on those two days. I feel pretty good about it, and I have a feeling my set will be dynamite. I usually do well at comedy club settings, but in other, non-comedy settings such as coffee houses and generic open mics, I often fail to capture the mood of the crowd, as they are more musical and poetry-reading oriented. Some people like to do that sort of thing and I’m fine with it. It’s just I feel like they have all this music and then, “Oh, by the way, we have a comedian.”

It is probably good experience anyway because I will encounter resistant crowds in the future, no doubt, and I will have to figure out a way to deal with them. But I am not so bad at thinking on my toes. When I was up in Rhode Island, I did a couple coffee shops and ended up totally scrapping my planned material and just commented on the room and talked about how the jokes I tried did not work. I got some gigantic laughs. I’ve been studying comedy for over five years now and what I’ve learned is that if you are not doing so well and do not acknowledge that, you will come off as ignorant. At least if you say something, as I did, “Someone better get over here and get me off this stage.” I kind of dragged out everything I did. Part of the problem was the house I was living in was not very conducive to coming up with a solid set that I could memorize. See the previous post for details. No central air, nowhere to really sit at a table to concentrate, constant distractions, and the heat was unbearable.

In order for me to concentrate fully, I need a quiet, calm, and comfortable atmosphere, like the one I harbor at home. And when I rehearse my act, I need to be alone. People always asking, “What are you doing? Why are you talking to yourself?” I need about a three-hour uninterrupted block of time to get into the “zone.” I could not do that in Rhode Island. The way my friend’s mind worked, we always had to be doing something external to my comedy. We had to go here to pick up this, we had to eat something, we had to pick up his drug-addicted girlfriend (which I will not comment on further). So it was no wonder I went onstage twice unprepared, not to mention that I was so exhausted because I could not get a deep sleep in such a humid environment. My condition calls for at least eight to ten hours of sleep for me to function normally, or at least close to normal. But if I were to tell him that, he’d look at me like I was from Mars.

It was the whole always having to be “on” that got to me. I need time to unwind and to get myself in a mental mood to do things, and there was just no time. I am not someone who can live life on the edge, completing millions of arduous and trivial tasks just for the sake of doing so. I carefully choose the actions I take in advance because I know what is important to me and what is simply not worth it. As a small example, I no longer go to movies much because most of them are severely disappointing. The only movies I will go see are the ones I am sure will be worth my time and money. When you are away from home, you end up doing things that you realize were not worth your time. I saw two movies I was utterly disappointed in and could have spent my time doing much more enlightening activities. For some reason, since I began this journey into self-exploration, entertainment does not do it for me anymore. Or maybe it is just the quality has dwindled so far down it’s just not worth it.

All I really know for sure is that I am ready to get on with my life. Overcoming obstacles is something I am now too familiar with and the only thing I can do now is take it easy. I need to work on comedy, work on getting my degree, and learn to embrace my life the way I was always meant to. It is a shame that some people will never break their mental model of reality to truly live the life of their dreams, but I know I am currently on that path, and the path is just as rewarding as the destination. Joy in the present trumps suspended joy in the future. That is all.

I never knew how to control spam until now with the Askimet thing that they have as a feature on Wordpress to begin with. Thank God for that. I was so tired of receiving hundreds of emails each month telling me that I have more spam comments to moderate. Whew! That was one hell of a bad thing. I could not believe the amount of spam that comes through this website. It had to be almost one hundred a day. Those people or those machines that distribute it must work real hard to keep their spam going. I’m just glad that now I can concentrate on writing.

I’ve been having some technological problems with my computer as of late. One of the big problems is that every few minutes, this machine freezes for like two to five seconds, then again two seconds after that. Then it is okay for about five minutes, then it does it again. I am looking into whether or not I have viruses on this computer and I tried downloading the Ad-Aware, but it always displays an error message halfway through the scan, which is getting pretty irritating because it supposedly detected over 100 adwares before it kept crashing. I need to do something about these problems, and I believe actually buying one of these virus programs could help quite a bit. Rather than using the free watered-down version, why not spend the fifty or so dollars and really make sure this machine is working to it highest potential. Why should I keep suffering with a machine that is working well below its optimal level because of numerous adware, spyware, and other viruses? I figure, it is a win-win situation.

So yesterday I went to my Transfer Orientation at Coastal Carolina University. I am not in the mood for doing links, but I will put one for CCU. It seems like a really nice school and I think I will love the professors I have. My advisor is great and another teacher, this Indian guy from India who has the Apu voice exactly is going to be one of my teachers. It is going to be a fun year. Two people from my work were also at the Orientation and it at least made me feel a bit better. Going at it alone is so much harder than going at it with people you know. After some really tough times, I feel like my life is finally going where it needs to go.

After winning my comedy contest, I finally have the first three dates that I will emcee for the comics that are performing that night. They are: July 9-11. I still have to pick my other four, but they will come in due time. My brother and grandparents are going on a cruise and they will miss my first three sessions, but if I make sure I get them there the other times, I will have much more moral support and all of that good stuff.

My car is working fine as well. I just filled it up for around $25. Not bad if you ask me, at least not at this point. I had about a quarter or a tank in there when I decided to fill it up, so $30 dollars seems like a reasonable amount to spend to fill up my tank. It will only be probably once or twice a month anyway, the way I drive and how far I go on a regular basis. However, commuting to CCU five times a week could prove to bring my mileage up to about over 150 a week or maybe more, but that is fine, at least at this point in my life. I’m going to need to become accustomed to travel if I wish to become a professional stand-up comedian.

On a side note, I finally decided it is a good idea for me to become a teacher. A math teacher, that is. I mean, I love math, I am good at teaching it to others, and I have the kind of personality that can’t help but get up in front of others and show them what is going on. This is kind of funny because I am not really a social person per se. I am more of someone who may say a few really insightful or funny things in a conversation, but I am not the center of attention, unless I am up on that stage. It may have something to do with being higher up than everyone else that makes me into this performer. Who knows?

Anyway, I now know where life will take me, at least to some extent, and that sort of vision is something to keep me going. I have so much going for me now and I feel like I can accomplish anything that I want. I am looking forward to it all. Have a nice day and I will be back momentarily, although I cannot say when.