AndrewBrunelle.com

I felt like I needed to belt out another blog entry today. It just feels right at this point. I am feeling really good this week. I was in the paper. I have achieved ‘celebrity status’ among the people I know and the people that I will come to know. And it is all because I believed in myself and I caught a glimpse of my own greatness. The only regret I have is that I could have done this sooner in my life. I guess now that I know who I am and where I come from and what I am about, I can now start to move myself further and further towards my dream. If you do not have a dream, a purpose, a plan for this life, then why bother? And this is a plan that fulfills me at this point. Hopefully, I can become successful enough where I can do this sort of thing for a living, stand-up comedy that is.

I found it kind of funny how most people at my work told me they would never expect me to be a comedian. That kind of makes it even more worth it because that is part of how I go about my act. I just surprise the hell out of the whole audience. I go up there and do what it is I do and I get results, at least to this point, and I intend to go further and further into this “career choice” until I become one of the better comedians out there. It would be nice to get a few specials eventually.

It is going to be a good, long road and I am ready for it. It means a lot to me that I accomplish this goal. It is something to work towards, a pinnacle, a zenith. I had to put that word in. I want to see how far my potential can stretch, how far I can go, how wonderful this life can turn out to be. Getting myself into the state where I believe the whole world is conspiring to make me successful is something that would be nice. I need to put in the work and effort to make this comedy thing work out to the best of my ability. It will take hard work, perseverence, and a little luck to get where I want to be.

At least I am on the path. The path towards my goal, and the path itself has to be just as rewarding as the destination. That is the key. If I want to get somewhere that will make me happy in the future, I sure as hell better be happy now as well. At least I enjoy the process. I love coming up with the jokes, and I love it when I get this ‘aha’ moment that allows me to write a joke and get the wording perfect. It takes a ton of effort to do this consistently. And I would not have it any other way. That is what makes doing this sort of thing rewarding. Putting in the time and hard work and then seeing it pay off onstage is something that you cannot buy. It is something you have to work at.

Anyway, I can’t believe how wonderful the Magic Bullet Blender is. I got one from my grandmother, who bought it for me. It is so great how easy it is to make fruit smoothies and other great drinks. And no, I am not being paid to say that. I am so happy that I finally got something that makes it easy to consume fruit in large quantities without chewing. This is how wonderful my life is going right now. With comedy and the Magic Bullet Blender at my side, how can I possibly go wrong? A sense of humor is worth twice its weight in gold.

Well, I guess I showed them last night. I put down a very powerful set and I beat the other ten comics who made it to the final round. It was probably my best set to date. I went on third, and I think that helped me a lot because I hate to wait when doing my set. I have it all ready to go, and then they want me to wait. My prizes were numerous, which is amazing. I got like six or seven $25 gift certificates to various restaurants and nightclubs, and a bottle of wine (kind of ironic, seeing how I do not drink). What was funny about this is that I was the youngest competitor there (at 21) and had only been to a comedy club once for the preliminary round. But I threw down my material, which had been four years in the making, no lie. Writing jokes takes a tremendous amount of time and it’s amazing how much effort went into this win, but the effort was well-worth it. I also get to emcee there for a week, which means I will have to clear my work schedule for that. I need to pursue my dream, not get caught up in the supermarket way of life.

I am so glad I won, but even if I didn’t win, I would still be grateful for the opportunity and the experience. I think it is so great that places like the Comedy Cabana allow young comics to express themselves in front of a live audience. I mean, it’s kind of funny how they only gave us from five to seven minutes because that is all I had anyway. I probably went less than that, but I had over 25 jokes, and around 20 or so good laughs, and three or four applauses, loud applauses. Maybe more, it was all a blur up there onstage. Then when you get offstage, you have some idea on how it went, but you’re not completely sure. I remember I got so many really good laughs, the audience loved me. So I almost knew for sure, judging by the audience response on the other people, that I had to be the winner. If I wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my fault, but the judges just did not like my style.

I saw a few other comics who I did enjoy that night and I thought they were very good. They just did not have the volume of laughs per minute I did. A lot of them told stories and one guy even announced his canidacy for the president. I feel like one of them would have won if I hadn’t showed up. It was weird how I found out about this competition. I kind of was online somewhere, and just happened to hear about it from some message board, and immediately went to the Comedy Cabana Myspace page., where I asked when and where I could sign up and then on May 21, I did well enough to make it to the final round, and then finally won the final round.

So where do I go from here? I believe this is some sort of turning point in my life, where I know now that I am at least a good comedian, who is good enough to beat some of the comedians who have been performing for more than ten years. If that does not say something about my material, my timing, and my delivery, nothing does. And it wasn’t so much about winning or losing. I just wanted to do the best job I could, and I did. I did something many comedians dream of, and now I know I need to start entering more and more comedy competitions, performing everywhere I can, at anytime that’s possible. Experience is the best teacher, and I do not want to be the one who’s cutting class. And it wasn’t just my material that people laughed at. I paced back and forth, up and down the stage, and then when I did my joke about how sometimes I wander around aimlessly, I got the biggest applause of the night. And I hadn’t even reached the punchline yet. “But the worst part about that is finding your way back.” So I really had the audience on my side by that point, and i finished with a bang.

The emcee really liked me and told me that I was even funnier than last time, which he said was really “fucking” funny. So, I guess I will have to update my Myspace page to include: “Winner of Comedy Cabana’s Open Mic Comedy Competition.” At least now I have something to put on my resume. Once again, the only negative that came from the club was the smoke. No one in my immediate family has somoked since I was alive, so I guess I am just not used to smoke, and I hate the smell. I may have to start performing wearing a gas mask. I am tired of getting bloodshot eyes every time I perform. What I may have to do is go to a place in the club that is non-smoking before I go on, and then perform, then go outside for awhile. We’ll see.

Anyway, I really enjloyed myself last night and look forward to more good times in the comedy world. Thank you, Comedy Cabana. I know you never saw me coming. Thank you.

Here I am, in the flesh, ready to post yet another blog entry from the depths of my computer keyboard, and also from the depths of my mind. I figure using observational humor is something we all do at some times, and last night was one time when I thought up a few good pieces while attending my brother’s awards night at his High School. Here they are, unedited and full of spontenaety. I have no idea how to spell that word, but here we go:

Okay, I guess I will start off by stating the first thing I saw. The presentation started off with these ROTC men and women and they were carrying these rifles, and the first thing that came to mind was, “Doesn’t this school have a zero-tolerance policy on weapons?” I’m sure they weren’t loaded, but the very fact they had them was something to worry about.

Then they were handing out some sort of ropes to these certain students for their graduation ceremony, and they were like the kind of ropes you would use for a noose, except they were maroon and yellow, and I noticed that they are the perfect length to hang yourself with. A bit dark, I know, but at that point, I was over an hour into the presentation.

Then there was a very long segment, where one woman read all the award money each student got from each college they were accepted to. It took over thirty minutes, and I felt that if they had an auctioneer up there, they could’ve cut the time in half. Seriously, I don’t have that kind of time.

After the whole ceremony was over, they showed this slideshow of all these pictures of the students from that year. There were songs that accompanied the pictures, as they faded in an out, and every time a song ended, I thought the slideshow would be over. But then another song started, and another song, and another song, and it reminded me of something, a movie I saw a few years ago: Lord of the Rings: The Last One. I forgot the title, but who cares at this point? I remember watching that movie and how it kept fading out in the end, only to start another scene, and another scene, and another scene, until I was yelling, “Would you just end? What’s the matter? You can’t end?” This is exactly how I felt while watching this slide show. It was just like that movie experience, only slightly worse because I wasn’t being entertained at all. At least LOtR is mildly entertaining (I do not like those movies, but it sure beats a slideshow).

Finally, on the program, there was an award called PTSO Student award or something, and what came to mind was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. It is not like I can ever use any of these jokes in real life because it is completely unrelatable to anyone, so I have no qualms about posting them here. I am looking forward to my comedy competition final round this Monday, so wish me luck! If I win, I will be on my way to becoming a better comic. If I lose, I still had a great exprience.

P.S. By the way, I am so glad I finally found a way to incorporate the word ‘qualm’ into my blog post. Which word will I squeeze in next? Stay tuned to find out.

I thought I would pay homage to my first ever blog post, entitled, Hello, World! Although it was an automatic post brought on by Wordpress, a way to get myself started on this blog, I am thankful for it, as it propelled me into the blogging world. Blogging is something many people do, but so few do it effectively. I am not one of the people who truly blogs effectively, because if I did, I would be making a decent income at it. I don’t know if making money blogging is something I seriously want to do anymore, mostly because I feel like there is more out there for me. You know, like blogging would be somehow limiting my abilities. So, this is more of a side project now, rather than a full-fledged ordeal. It is something I enjoy doing and will continue to do for the remainder of my life. How long it will be, I do not know, but getting somewhere in the range of 10,000 posts seems like a solid goal. Ten thousand quality posts that is.

Recently, I entered a comedy contest in my home city and placed in the top four and made it to the finals. I am looking forward to putting my comedy on in the next two weeks, when the finals are held. If I win, I get to emcee at the comedy club for a whole week, which means I will have to request that whole week off from work, but comedy is my dream and selling groceries is definitely nowhere near where I see myself in five, ten, and fifteen years from now. I have to get myself in tip-top shape for this competition, and it will take the best of my memory skills to pull off a victory, as I have no idea who I will be competing against, as more than half of the competitors were in a previous preliminary round. It is an endeavor worth fighting for, I believe. If I bring my A game, rather than my B or C game, I am quite sure I can place in the top three, if not win the whole thing. I just have to count on an audience as generous as last Monday. I also have to make sure I feel as good as I did when I went the previous time. I am starting to juice vegetables today and tomorrow, and throughout the next couple of weeks to boost my energy for the stage. To me, there is almost nothing better than getting a laugh from over one hundred people. Maybe winning the Powerball jackpot, but even if I won that, what would I do with all that money?

I am planning a voyage back to college next semester as well,and that will certainly eat up a lot of my plate, in terms of time and effort. Maybe it is still a good idea to go into teaching and do comedy on the side, but I am not completely sure. All I know is that I enjoy mathematics and I enjoy comedy, and I think I could teach mathematics to people in a funny way, a way that would allow them to remember it. I mean, in a perfect world, there would be a job for a mathematical comedian, but most people do not want to do equations while in a nightclub. I can see it now, me up there with a chalkboard, explaining that you cannot get blood from a stone, mathematically, that is, and most likely logically as well.

The only downside to working in a real comedy club is the smoke. I am adversive to smoking, I never lived in a household where anyone smoked while I was there, so spending over three and a half hours in a smoke-filled environment had some adverse effects on me the next day, but if I do not do it very frequently, and if I make a strong commitment to move back up to the northeast or to California, where smoking is no longer permitted in nightclubs, at least in most of them, I will be able to thrive as a comic anytime. I had bloodshot eyes the next day and the scratchiest throat I can remember. I will definitely have to take care of my self from a holistic standpoint if I want this comedy thing to really catch on. I have to have an immune system that could take down Hitler if he was a germ. George Carlin has some unorthodox ways to better your immune system. He says that, as a child, he swam in raw sewage, which is why he never contracted polio. Pretty intriguing if you ask me. If you ask someone else, that person is entitled to his/her opinion.

Comedy gives me a rush that only a true comedian can really understand. You cannot just imagine what it would feel like, you actually have to do it. If you do not do it, you will never get the feeling of being up there onstage, telling jokes to people you will probably never see again, unless you are really good. I’m sure other types of performers can say the same. Motivational speakers, musical performers, and everything else that gets up on a stage and starts spewing out whatever he/she wants to say. Because I am able to get up there, even if I would fail, I still take the experience at face value, evaluate it, and move on. The building blocks of success include failure, and I believe that getting through the stumbling blocks in unfamiliar fashion (i.e. pressing on, even when everyone tells you you’re crazy) will build character and allow for you to blossom at the end. Remember the story about the ugly duckling? He was ridiculed his whole life, until one day he became more beautiful than anything anyone would ever imagine. And this is my goal. And I am not just going to do comedy. I plan to inspire as well. Be a humorous inspirational speaker who motivates as well as demotivates in a humorous fashion.

I know that this will be hard work, but it is so worth it. If I can be one of those comics who has a show almost every night, is making a decent living, and has enjoyable relationships with family, friends, and other comedians/performers, I believe I may be the happiest person alive. It is something to strive for, but I will not rush myself. I still have to enjoy myself in the present. I will go at the pace I need to to feel happy and succeed in the fashion I feel is right. It is something all of us have at one point. A dream. It may not be as big as Martin Luther King’s dream, or Ghandi’s dream, but a dream that will fulfill us and make the world a better place is certainly worth going for, don’t you think?

I’ve been considering fasting for some time, I just can’t do it. Can’t make a commitment. Not eating for days on end, not something I can make a conscious effort to do. I am aware of the potential benefits, especially of a juice fast, where all I would consume are fresh juices, but then I’ll have to clean the juicer three or four times a day, not something I want to do. I realize that fasting is a detox mechanism which allows for repair and gives my digestive system a rest. If I did a water fast, I am sure I would get sick of water after a certain amount of time and move on to heavier things, like broth, then juice, then eventually something tastier–soda. I’m just curious as to how a fast is constituted and how I can get a doctor to write me a note for three to five days off work so I can try this whole fasting thing and see how I like it. I think this whole fasting dream I have is all a scheme for me to get off work a few more days each week.

“I can’t come into work today. I have toxins in my body and if I let them stay there too long, I could die. I need to detox for at least five days, maybe six.” I would have to do it in the raspy voice I usually use to call in sick, a voice that sounds like I just got out of bed and haven’t said a word all day. I bet I could pull that off, if I had some sort of research on it. I would most likely try and break the fast at breakfast. That way I coud be doing one of those double entondre (?) things where I can say I’m breaking my fast at breakfast. I may have to hire a maid to make me juices and to go shopping for me and maybe I can pull it off. I can feel all the accumulated gunk from years and years of pizzas and doughnuts, not to mention that Mountain Dew addiction I had for the first nineteen years of my life. My arteries are probably lined with High Fructose Corn Syrup, which makes for a nice lubricant I hear.

As I’ve always said, it is easier to not do something than it is to do it unless it is an addiction, like a sugar addiction or a food addiction. No matter how lethargic I am, no matter how late it is, I can always muster the energy to go over to the cupboard and get myself a high-sugar, low-fiber poison snack and shove it in my mouth for an emotional lift and sugar high. I think maybe the Fit for Life diet gave me this sugar addiction with their whole, “nothing but fruit in the morning” approach. What did they think was going to happen? They say, “Have as much fruit as you want, but do not overeat.” What? Does that make sense? No. It’s a living paradox. Here I am, eating pints of blueberries, followed by six bananas, and then sixteen Medjool dates, and I’m still hungry, but not hungry in the stomach sense, hungry in my mouth, the salivary glands are going wild, and I know what my problem is, a sugar addiction.

I still eat fruit, but I need some time away from food. I need to find a practical time to do this fast, I may even request some days off from work to accomplish it. My family will inevitably think I’m crazy, but I think that is for the best anyway. If everyone thinks you’re crazy, you’re either right, or crazy. Sometimes the only reason I eat is because I think I have to. I’m not hungry, I just feel if I don’t, people will start saying, “You didn’t eat lunch? Why?” Because I didn’t feel like it. But that’s not a good enough answer. Going against conventional wisdom takes more courage than you think.

If I really want to scare the people I know, I should start quoting the Bible while I fast, every day and every night. Start saying how fasting is the only way to salvation and that if I do not do this, I will never get closer to the Lord. And He is the one wa all long to get close to. And it’s all here in this pamphlet. I should start going door to door, like a Jehvovah’s Witness. You know, maybe their theme song should be, “Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” Going off topic has become more and more familiar to me in the past six to eight months. But I accept it because I accept myself unconditionally. And I never edit because if I think something, I think it for a reason and there is no reason to cut out part of the process, like I see on those reality shows. They’ll cut to someone screaming at another person and don’t show how that all started. It gives me no basis for judgment.

Anyway, fasting is something I think I should try and I will post results when I start to fast. I’ll have some time to post because I will not be eating. When everyone is around the dinner table, eating their roast duck, I will be slaving away at my master, my computer, documenting how it feels not to do something everyone regards as necessary. I don’t want to make a big thing out of it, though. It’s not like I’m going on a hunger strike to fight world hunger or poverty. I’m doing it because I can. I can make a choice to not do something. It is strikingly similar to my voting fast. I’ve never registered to vote in 21 1/2 years because where I currently live, my vote would be drowned out by a bunch of conservative Republican voters. And voting for yourself makes you look narcissistic anyway. Probably wouldn’t be the best idea. That is all I have for today. Come back soon for more insanity.

I am someone who always thinks outside the box. It is my nature. Besides, the box is too crowded anyway. I find the more I talk to yourself, the less people will talk to me. I guess it’s probably because they do not want to interrupt the conversation I’m having with myself. At least I can laugh about it later. Some people can’t. At least I never got in a heated debate with myself. I sometimes speak too soon. Sometimes when I am in public and I feel like talking to myself but do not want to be looked upon as clinically insane, I pull out my cell phone and use that to have a fictitious conversation with my subconscious. I pace back and forth and give good arguments. At least when I talk to myself, I at least get somewhere with it.

Doing this is a contant theme in my life. It always was. And it probably always will be. I even used to carry around a little tape recorder so I could record everything I was saying. Maybe I’m secretly lonely. Who knows? All I can really say about this is it is a part of who I am, and I would not trade it for anything.

Another thing that is very different from other peope is I tend to “zone out” quite a bit. It is a very strange feeling where my thoughts take me for a wild ride, and it takes me quite a long time to get back. When I do come back, or “zone in,” I need to check the clock to see how long I was gone. It is almost like I’m not even around when this happens. I just fade out of existence. It is a different kind of meditation. One that happens spur of the moment and goes on until I realize I need to come back to reality.

A sad state my mind was in when my mini tape recorder broke and now I will have to buy a DVR, or Digital Voice Recorder. I feel kind of awkward speaking into it, unless I pretend it is a cell phone. Especially if there are a lot of people around. I say something like, “Why does only one company make the Monopoly game?” or “A man with OCD broke into my house and cleaned the entire thing. I didn’t call the cops. I hired him as my cleaning man.” I guess I shouldn’t care what those people think, really. If we all really are one, then they know what I am doing and understand me unconditionally. I just wish more people weren’t so afraid to show their weirdness. I can’t wait until casual Friday at my work. I have the clown costume and makeup all ready. Boy, will they be surprised.

I just find a safe life boring. A life where you do what everyone else is doing and just go with the flow of society. I can’t see myself ever doing some of the things people do for fun, or do because other people do it. It has to resonate with me and no one else. The only exception I am making is doing my taxes on time. I do not want to be victim to the IRS and their unlawful tactics. I really enjoy seeing things the way I see them, not the way I am conditioned to see them. For example, when people say that Angelina Jolie is attractive, I mean, she’s okay, but I don’t really find her that attractive. And no, I’m not gay. It is just how I see things.

Recently, I thought of a real good idea that may or may not get me arrested, but I won’t actually do it. When I was undergoing brain cancer treatment, radiation, I got this radiation mask, and it is custom fitted to my face, and is made of plastic with a bunch of little holes in it. My plan is to wear it to the bank and attempt to make a withdrawal. It would be really funny, but nah, I may wait. I am also one of the only people who like talking to telemarketers. I like to string them along, have them go all the way up to their sales pitch and then say, “No.” It brings me a sort of smug satisfaction. It is really funny.

If I wasn’t who I am today, I would feel like I was someone else. I do whatever it is I feel is right for me to do and I always follow my instincts. If I feel like something is wrong, like buying fast food, I do not partake in that endeavor. If I do not think Christianity is a good religion for me, I do not follow it. The whole theme of this post is to trust in yourself and who you are and do not be afraid to express yourself in public. I used to feel that way, that I always had to censor myself so people did not label me as crrazy or delusional. Now I just laugh at those silly labels, and I encourage you to do the same. Just don’t threaten anyone’s life. That could lead to jail time. Now to find that Google Adsense code…

Writing is something I do because it allows me to express my thoughts in such a way that other people can relate to them. Every now and then I have an insight into my life and think to myself if anyone else could benefit from what I now know. I choose to write about whatever is on my mind and go from there. I never know where I will end up, maybe even somewhere I cannot come back from. But it is okay because I can always hit the delete key. Free form writing and creative endeavors really get my mind in the flow state.

My personal goal in this next month or so is to improve my writing skills beyone anything I have ever seen. I must find a way to come across even more coherently in a way that does not overcomplicate things. I am not one to use big words to sound ultra-smart because I feel small words can fulfill the same duty, sometimes even moreso. I may not follow all the rules of proper grammar, but at least I know what I am talking about…most of the time.

I like to just sit down and write for awhile. I never know what is going to come out of me, and that is exciting in a way. If you realize that every post you write is a creation, like giving birth to a new baby, then you will become fascinated by the disparity and diversity of your schools of thought. As I look back on previous posts, I realize those posts were written with a completely different state of mind. I can no longer resonate with some of the previous ideas I wrote about and now have to move on to the ideas I have now, and even they will pass.

I guess what I am getting at here is impermanance. Nothing is permanent, so it is best not to be attached to anything in particular. Time flies while you are creating and the flow state is almost inevitable. Working from this standpoint, how can I possibly stop? Consciously thinking of new ways to think about ordinary things is a challenge I choose to undertake. I am working in a field known as metacognition: thinking about thinking.

Maybe I should think about my thinking about thinking, and then go another level deep, and so on until I go completely insane. You know, I always wondered what it would be like to try on a strait jacket anyway. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

If you look at the world in a completely objective sense, you will start to wonder what you can do about it, and it will seem overwhelming, but if you then look at it in an subjective light, where you are equally everything, and you are consciousness, you start to have power, you can start to make a change. This is something that is becoming increasingly familiar in my life. I now know that the power resides within, as long as I believe it is there. And the fact I acknowledge this power and take action to improve this power makes me motivated to keep going. I believe this post is of sufficient length, and now I rest my fingers. The last ailment I need is carpel-tunnels.

Plase Note: I am starting to use Google Adsense and I am going to try and find the best ad configuration in my spare time to see what works best for myself and the readers. I will probably place them towards the bottom and not mix them in with the posts to obstruct your view. I will also probably put them on the side banners so that way it will not interfere with the reader so much. Thank you.

I do not know about you, but I find exercising is a key to radiant health. I run on an exercise bike for most of my exercise as of late. I find that exercising a substantial amount (maybe 30-60 minutes) every day is an activity that nothing can replace. It will bring you greater mental clarity, a better physical condition, more spirituality, and a better outlook on life. It is right up there with laughter as one of the better medicines out there. I just wish doctors would prescribe it more. Getting fit is a personal goal for me. I started this goal in March of last year, so one year in the making so far. I’m down at least ten pounds from previously, and my energy level is substantially higher. My diet has also changed to a plant/fruit/nut-based diet with few grains and meats, and an almost complete exlcusion of dairy. I’m not a big fan of diary anyway, so that is not a big problem.

I can say that I feel lighter. Much lighter. It is easier to move around without this extra weight and harmful products floating around in my body. I feel more mentally sound and can concentrate better. I strive to continue this state of being by upping my exercise regime to include more cardio exercises and possibly some weight training, if I can muster it. I am not looking to be some gigantic guy, just strong enough to get through my workout. “I exercise to get through the workout.”

Currently, I am working on a project that has something to do with improving my writing and also conveying ideas in an articulate yet subtle manner. My first task was to eliminate what they call “passive voice.” That is not an easy task. I am working on it consciously every day I sit down to write, even when I am journaling. Supposedly, and this is from an Enlglish teacher way back in 11th grade, “have + verb = passive voice.” So I “have not done this yet,” would be passive voice.

Another roadblock I am currenlty working to eliminate is contractions. I remember in my first semester of college, I had this professor, well he was not really a professor, more of an assistant director of Residence Life who taught my class called Academy 101. He used to hand back the few papers I wrote for him with the words, “I do not accept contractions.” He took points off for it. It was a subconscious thing for me at that point, writing contractions, and I did not think anything of it when I handed in a paper filled with “I’ms” and “They’res.” I could say I learned my lesson, but it took until now to properly implement it. When I realize that these new techniques will not only help me, but the readers of my blog, it really puts everything full-circle and allows me to keep up this practice of bettering myself and the way I write, just so I can help others do the same. Why stagnate at a perpetual point with no acceleration when you can take the initiative to at least try to get better?

Another occurrence in my life. I am going for a full-out cancellation of watching any television. The last show I watched was last night, a new South Park episode, which I usually find quite entertaining. As of late, their episodes, or at least the last two new ones, were not really funny or entertaining. I may and plan to stop watching that show altogether, and because it is now the only show I watch, it will completely wipe out my television viewership. I used to love television when I was younger. Now I see that no matter what is on the tube, there is something better going on in real life. I used to have this joke I told, “I hate it when I see a movie that was based on a true story. It would have been better if I saw it in real life.” I know it uses passive voice, but that was me before this transition. But it rings true. You are better off experiencing something firsthand than you are experiencing it passively through a piece of “furniture” or “appliance.”

I can say goodbye to contractions and passive voice and bring on a new era of speedy, dilligent writing that gets to the point without extra words to fill the gap. I feel awkward writing like this, as it may take time to adjust. It is an ever-winding process, but it is yet another challenge for me to overcome. I need to start studying other ways to improve the way I communicate. Just recently, maybe five to six months ago, I improved my speech and how clearly I talk and now I even say the whole word, r’s and all. (I come from the Northeast, where “ca” instead of “car” is a given.) That is all for today. Hopefully I can sustain this level of discipline in all of these repsects. It was fun giving birth to this post. Good day.

As of late, I have strictly limited my television viewing to no more than a couple of shows per week, much better than previous times in my life. This has turned me onto another activity to fill the gap in my life–reading. I do not know if you all know what reading is, I know it has suffered a steady decline ever since the television came into fruition. Reading requires a longer attention span than television, as the plots are usually much more complex and the characters see some real development. It is an exercise in imagination. I remember what an avid reader I was in elementary school and into my middle school days, and then I just sort of tapered off. I started watching more and more television, mainly Comedy Central and the Fox network. I started shoving books to the side in favor of movies and television shows, and what happened was a stagnation, an atrophy of my imagination. It was like this for five, six years even, without me really noticing how much I lost in that timespan. Television almost became an addiction, but not to the extent that many others suffer with.

If you have ever watched television, and I believe many of you have, there really is not much on to really get interested in. A vast wasteland is what someone put it as. There may be a few shows, a few key shows that are truly interesting and thought-provoking, but otherwise, there is nothing of real substance, nothing really bound in reality, more of a fanstasmal way to live, if that is even a word. The “reality” shows that depict edited reality, which is so far away from reality that they should be called “fantasy shows.” And let us not forget the advertisements, which put most people in a state of desire, wanting all the new products that are advertised on the networks. Breeding a consumerist culture, allowing for mass destruction of our planet and many more. I am not saying that all television is evil, just that the majority of the broadcasts offer hardly anything of substance, are extremely biased, and I am sure you could find other more fulfilling activities to participate in than sitting passively, watching a screen simulate other people doing things you wish you could do.

After a long conversation with myself, I decided it was necessary to remove the television’s influence from my life, except for no more than five hours a week. There are certain shows I find original and creative, and are against the mainstream garbage I often see. Those are the shows I keep on my schedule. I have filled the time I cut out from not watching television with much more meaningful activities, such as reading, writing, and contemplating the meaning of my life and the meaning of all life in the universe. You do not see such activities on television. When you watch television, you surrender control to the network. Whatever is on there, you cannot control. It is almost like hypnosis. I used to feel that I wanted to turn the damn thing off, but I couldn’t. I spent many nights watching Law and Order marathons until I could barely keep my eyes open, wondering why I even cared about what happened to the characters. It wasn’t real. Why did I care?

Finally, I broke away from this sort of behavior, or lack of behavior and decided not to spend a good amount of my life in front of a piece of technology. Although I do use my computer quite a bit, it is more interactive and I am in the driver’s seat. I can choose what it is I want to do here. It is much more empowering than the television. Television is defining our culture through everything it conveys. And it isn’t really the television, but the advertisements and programs on the television. Those are the real culprits. Television can be used to enrich our lives or what it does now, turns us into passive zombies. And they are doing a good job. People are still watching. They want to see who gets kicked off the island on Survivor. They want to see the next episode of Desperate Housewives. And if that is entertaining to you, fine. But if you are only watching it to fill a void in your life, a void that could be filled with much more meaningful activities, then go for it. Do not surrender control of your life to a “box.” You’re worth more than that. You can do better. It is not easy to break the habit, but once you do, you will start finding better ways to occupy your time. Take up a hobby. Join a club. Exercise. There are so many positive things you can put in place of television. Take your pick.

It happens every once in awhile that we have to “perform” for other people, if you would. We have to be “on.” I often joke with people I know when other people are coming to visit we have not seen in awhile that we’ll have to recharge our batteries in order to be “on” for that occasion. I guess it has to do with uploading your ego or something. Becoming the egoic personality that these people are used to seeing, or at least the egoic personality that you currently use in some situations. I am thinking of storing my ego along with my self-esteem in a wall-safe I am thinking about purchasing, so that when I need it, I know where it will be. It is not like my ego is very strong, it is just a humble sense of an ego, I am not someone who is the leader of the conversation, although it is often a comment I make that will drive the whole conversation. So, I am usually in control of the conversation, although I am not the person who contributes the most. I find it fascinating how so many people are invested in putting out their nuggest of information and not really listening to the rest of the crowd. That is a problem I have addressed within myself, as I have always been more of a listener anyway.

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