AndrewBrunelle.com

I’ve read in multiple places that viewing life as a dream is probably the best way to feel centered in it. It also puts things in their proper perspective. If you think about it, it is not that far off. I’ve had a dream within a dream before and experienced what they call a “false awakening,” where I wake up from the dream within a dream and I’m still dreaming, but now back to the frist level of dreaming. So, to me, it is not that far-fetched that life is nothing but a dream. But if it is a dream, it is one of the most creative and imaginative dreams I have ever seen. It’s hard to really describe the feeling you get from adopting this sort of belief system because you have to try it for yourself. It is like having a lucid dream in real life. I’ve had a few lucid dreams in the past and I think becoming lucid in reality could make life that much easier and joyful to live.

When you dream and become lucid, you do not only identify with your physical body in that dream. You identify with the whole dream. It is something that is happening inside your consciousness. It is all unfolding there and anything is possible. You are open to multiple possibilities because you know it is a dream. Let’s just say, for a second, that you one day decide to view reality as a dream. So, with this belief system, anything becomes possible, with respect to your belief system. You start to identify with all of reality, and not just your physical body, and therefore, you can start influencing the universe to get things in alignment with your purpose. Every thought you have is now an intention to either swing reality in your favor or against it. And no matter where you are now, you get this inner sense of joy that drives you to take joyful actions.

You accept everything as it is and you can now choose if you want to change anything. You start to lose identification with your ego and you now realize that you are everything. I am not talking about the physical body you, but the you above it all, the you that encompasses everything. All your fear disappears and so do most other limiting beliefs, to the degree you can hold this belief system. Whenever I get into really, truly believing this belief system, I feel terrific. It is just an inner sense of knowing that this is the way reality really works. It gives you a sense of unconditional security. You are not so worried about your physical body anymore. Even if it dies, you still have the rest of you. Your body is but a small part of your whole self.

But it brings on a new responsibility. Anything that happens out there is essentially your fault. The good, the bad, the ugly. So, when something terrible happens, like a terrorist attack or a tsunami, you have to take credit for being the cause of it. I just wouldn’t go to the cops and confess just yet. It is a renowned perspective that encompasses all boundaries. You start to realize that the only limitations in the universe are your own mind. So I start to debug my mental software to only include empowering beliefs. It is a process that takes years, maybe even a whole lifetime. But it is something that increases your joy the farther you get down this path. And it is certainly better than holding all these negative beliefs. I am getting better at this every day and there are many times when I surprise myself. Things I did not think were possible are now not only possible, but a common occurrence. Beliefs shape reality. Thoughts create beliefs. Using locial reasoning, it is safe to say that thoughts shape reality. There’s a lesson in deductive reasoning.

Now I need to start monitoring my thoughts on a daily basis. Whenever a limiting thought comes into my head, I replace it with an empowering one. If I am ever thinking, “I can’t do this,” I immediately replace it with, “I can do this and I will.” It is a form of mental conditioning that works to your advantage. You need to start by accepting the truth and then moving on from there. You need to look at the dream you are living in with truthful eyes and then accept what it is you have. Then, if you feel so inclined, you can move to improve different parts of it as you move along this plane of existence. It is, by far, the most empowering way to live I have come across so far, and I encourage you to give it a shot. Good luck.

I’m working four days a week and going to school five days, so I guess some projects are thrown on the back burner for a little while. I’m not enjoying as much quiet reflection time as I am accustomed to, so therefore, my blog entries are becoming fewer and further between. And that is okay. I am fine with it. I still write quite often, but it is more in what I call “journal format.” It is not something I would post online, unless it is in something like LiveJournal. I need to take time to learning Photoreading, a new revolutionary reading system that I haven’t had the time to really look at fully. This will most likely cut down on my study time and reading time to allow more room for other ventures. The only aspect that gets to me is when you read something, it takes a certain amount of time. But you never know how much time the author spent writing it. A book you read in three days could have taken the author three years to write. Reading a book in rapid format, in my opinion, does do the writer some sort of injustice, don’t you think? If you read a book in two hours and the author spent years and years putting it together… I am just ranting right now. It will pass. Everything does.

I am not used to writing with all this structure. Word limits, parameters, college writing is a bit limiting. I hope to change this. I’ve always been different and I wish to show my colleagues how being different and daring to express this abnormality can be a great asset in any field of study. I like to think outside the box. The box is too crowded. Expanding how we do things can revolutionize the world. I do almost everything stream of consciousness now. It is so present moment thinking. It does not matter what each sentence entails, but more the end result of it all. I believe it is an accelerated form of getting in touch with the being inside you for an everlasting effect. It is about getting ideas out and then working on them from there. Nothing has to be perfect the first time. If you spend your whole life organizing and preparing to do something, trying to get it perfect, you’ll be stuck in analysis paralysis for awhile. Why not just get out there and try something? And if it fails, you improve upon it, over and over, until you get it where you need it. Experience is the best teacher here.

You cannot be a failure in the external world. You can only be a failure in your own judgment. What some call a failure, others revere as a success. It is solely a judgment call. Everything just is…whatever you want it to be. Labels are subjective. So why limit yourself by always using them? I remember reading a passage in one of Chuck Pahlaniuk’s books about how when we start using language to describe something, we take away from the fact of its being. Now it is formed into some arbitrary category, like a mountain, rather than the wonder it is, the nameless wonder. It is harder to truly just experience it, now there is some sort of subjective label attached to it. But you don’t have to apply that label. Sure, others may try and force that label upon you, but you do not have to accept it.

We all have contexts anyway where we all encode the same experiences as totally different events. Any experience you have is yours alone. Someone standing right next to you can see things in an entirely different light and it is so enlightening to see this. I love it. And respecting all points of view, no matter how far away from yours they seem, can really show you the range through which people experience supposed objective events. Our set of beliefs really do create our reality. And when you open yourself up to new beliefs, just by considering the possibility that they are true, you will start to experience different things. You must admit you do not know anything for sure and that any point of view could be right. The only thing you know for sure is that you exist. And even that could be called into question. It is the whole concept of letting go of the limiting beliefs you have and adopting ones that will empower you. What would the world be like if we all did this? We all set down our negative beliefs and moved towards a greater good, a good of all of life on Earth. The only limit are our own minds. Join me in this pursuit. The rewards at the end will be abundant.

I could go on writing for hours this way and I truly feel more enlightened when I do this. It is almost like there is this higher being writing through me. There is a way out of suffering. There is a better way of life. Find beauty in everyday things. Start noticing more. Become more present. Know that the present is all you truly have and the only time you can change. You do not change tomorrow, because tomorrow will be today, and today will be the present. When tomorrow rolls around, it will be now, so why not start now? Why put it off until a later “now?” Rise up above the confines of society and start living freer. Free of time, free of everything. Deflate your ego. Identify with everything. Realize everything is made from the same fundamental parts. In a way, we are all one. When you harm another, you really harm yourself. Have compassion. Understand that the suffering of others is really your own suffering. Send out peace and love to all of existence. And be sure to be grateful for the whole experience.

Thank you for reading,

Andrew Brunelle

What is truly important to you? What couldn’t you live without? What could you get rid of that is causing unnecessary stress/clutter? How can you bring yourself to get rid of all these unwanted items, thoughts, or emotions? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do know that there is a way to get yourself in a state of joy without succumbing to complexity and stress. You can live a simple, yet fulfilling life, filled with the people who care about you and the things you treasure most (e.g. my laptop). You can pretty much dump the rest. All the negative relationships, all the things you own that do not contribute to your goals or bring you joy, dump them. I believe everyone strives for happiness. In my world, happiness is abundant and I do not go looking for it. I possess the ability to access it from within and spread it out throughout the world. It is my gift to you.

We all possess this ability. I am just someone who found the access code in one of the file cabinets up in my brain. Soul searching is a very enlightening activity and you all need to realize that it is a choice to be happy. It is a choice to be depressed. These emotions do not rely on external circumstances. You can be flat broke and happy, or you can be a billionaire and sad. Or, if you are an idealist, you can be a happy billionaire (my personal choice). Part of being filled with unconditional joy is letting go of any attachments you have to anything. You need to acknowledge that everything, even your physical body, is temporary. Once you fully grasp that, once you really, really know it, you can show gratitude for everything you experience, but no longer be attached to it. You will no longer fear change because no matter what happens, you still retain joy. It is a remarkable state to be in.

When I started decluttering my home, I actually felt lighter and lighter each time I threw some unwanted item away. Same with my negative and limiting beliefs. Each belief thrown in the proverbial wastebasket allowed me to open up to more abundant happiness. I did some things I never thought I could do. I finally started to live freely, without limitation. The only limitation is your own mind. This is true on so many levels. There are no words to describe the feeling of lightness unless you experience it yourself, but once you do what it takes to get there, it will fill your days with joy. And it’s good on so many levels.

Spending time in nature really helps, too. Be amazed at the wonders of the forest, the desert, and the jungle. The ecosystems are so complex, so beautiful in their own rights that it saddens me how much we’ve destroyed them. I am grateful there is still some left and I strive to encourage others to live a simpler life, a life that does not damage the world, a life that is so fulfilling once you commit to it, there will be no going back. It’s the whole concept in rooting yourself in what is permanent, not what is temporary. All your material possessions will end up being dust. Your physical body will be dust. But your spirit, your marvelous and virtuous spirit is eternal. And raising the consciousness of that spirit, moving beyond unconscious consumerism and evolving to a state where you no longer look towards items to fill a void in your life because that void is already filled with unconditional love, joy, and acceptance.

I wrote something on a message board like this, “The lighter you are, the closer you are to ascending into the heavens.” I believe this rings true, at least in my life. I hate when I see people weighed down by debt, by personal problems, by bad situations. I can try and help, but some people are stubborn. They deny that there is anything wrong, they are attached to the very things they loathe. It gives them identity. It is part of their ego. Once you let go of the ego, let go of the past, let go of everything and embrace right now, really feel it, you can move into a whole other state of being. Your ego melts. Your problems go away. You are here and you are now. And allowing yourself to just allow the present to be and not letting past or future worries interfere is the best thing you can do. Show gratitude for each and every morning you wake up. Isn’t it wonderful how you get to live? Isn’t it great to be alive? I am starting to feel this way more and more every day. I wish the same for you. Wouldn’t the world be such an amazing place if everyone was like this? Just sit back and wonder…

When I got sick a few years ago with brain cancer, it totally changed my perspective on life and all it encompasses. When I found out I was completely cured, I was so joyous that I started to do things I was previously afraid to do, things I would have never attempted as a pre-cancerous human. When you look death in the face and see it clearly, and survive, it totally changes the way you think. You acknowledge the trivial as trivial, like the accumulation of useless merchandise. You also acknowledge what is truly important from a permanent perspective. You realize what is worth living for and what is not. You no longer have to get the latest gadget, like an iPhone or whatever else is coming out. You are content with life itself, minus all the things that supposedly make it so great.

I know that if I were born in a different time, an earlier time, I would be dead right now. My brain ventricle would have exploded and I would no longer be here. But for some reason, I was lucky enough to be alive in this amazing time where having a brain tumor near the brainstem was not only operable, but compleely curable. I am eternally grateful for that and no matter how terrible my life gets on this end, I can always say, “At least I am not dead. At least I survived.” So, to me, accumulating things that do not place me in a higher state of consciousness is a worthless activity. If I can find something that is truly useful and will help me in my mission, then I will buy it. But I will not waste my time or money on items that contribute nothing to society, the world, and the universe. It just does not make sense.

Have you ever been out in public and you see one of those magazine stands with all that celebrity gossip on it? I think everyone at least looks at the cover of these magazines. Everyone acts like they hate how others obsess about celebrities’ lives, but deep down, they want to know, too. And they are mostly negative stories about topics like rehab and divorce. I feel compassion for these celebrities, who are put on a pedastal by society, and every misstep they make, they are hounded. I mean, when the photographers start showing up at rehab to catch a shot of the newest intake, it is getting out of control. This is one of the things I no longer watch or pay attention to. I know that we are all human and no one is perfect. I accept people for who they are. If they make mistakes, fine. It is expected. It does not make them bad people, and the tabloids should examine themselves before crticizing another. What I tend to find is people who criticize others have an inner critic about themselves and the only way they can hide their self-loathing is through projecting it outward onto someone else.

Realize that making life more complicated than it already is gets in the way of living your goals. If you fill your home with items that do not reflect who you wish to become, then how do you expect to become that person? Just think of a goal you have. Think, “What would a person who has already accomplished this goal act like? What things would he/she own?” Get rid of anything that does not align with your goals. Also, eliminate all behaviors that do not align with the person you are striving to become. Why waste time on the unimportant when you can spend that time on the important? Why read tabloid magazines when you could spend time reading up on whatever career you want to get into?

It is tough to make a decision about what to commit your life to. It really is. But the most difficult part is actually facing what you feel you should do. Maybe you don’t think you can accomplish it. Maybe you feel it will be too much work. Maybe your stable job and routine is too hard to change. Well, I never heard of a saying, “Stagnation is the spice of life.” In order to get where you need to be, a solid contributor, you must change things about yourself, but for the better. These changes will be resisted at first, but once you overcome the intial resistance, you can move on to growing with ease. Part of this resistance is fear of the unknown. Educating yourself about whatever you wish to accomplish should assuage some of those fears. Work from your strengths and build up your weaknesses. Practice what you preach. Become what you know you can.

The more I think about this negative world, the more I create negativity. The more I am open to the possibility of good and love, the more of it I see. The closer I get to a purpose for my life, a strong ideal, the more empowered I become. The further I try and live a fulfilling life, one that I can look back on and feel I contributed a large amount, the more at peace I become. The longer I procrastinate on all of this, the further away I push my peace away. The longer I use feeble excuses to mitigate what I should be doing, the less time I have to complete my goals. And if I do not contribute my life to serving the greater good, the lofty ideal in my heart, I have wasted my life.

Ghandi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” I completely agree with that. If you want people to change, wouldn’t it make sense that you have to make those same changes first? You have to lead by example. You cannot claim to be an activist for the environment while buying things that pollute the environment. You should not preach something you do not practice yourself. That just leads to incongruencies. It’s like me preaching the benefits of the Atkins diet, even though I have never experienced it myself. Even if I know all about the diet, I still have not experienced it. Viewing something fromt he outside is totally different from experiencing something from the inside.

There are definitely things in this world that need to change. I am sure most people can list at least ten things they would like to change in this world. But just talking about it doesn’t change the situation. For example, let’s say you are a wage slave at a job you hate and you complain about your job to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and everyone under the sun. That just adds to the negativity you are already feeling and offers no solution. Now let’s say you quit that job to pursue more meaningful work. You stopped worrying so much about playing it safe and decided to go all or nothing towards a purpose you have in mind for your life. And even though you may fail initially, even the failure is more rewarding than the highest success at that previous job. And even though you haven’t got it figured out yet, you enjoy the path you are on and embrace all of its twists and turns.

If you die with your music still in you, your life will most likelly be filled with regret. Think of how many people could have benefitted from your hypothetical life of service. But because you chose to take the road everyone else takes, without any real meaning except meeting your physical needs, you stagnate at a certain mental level, a certain level of consciousness, and you remeain there for the rest of your life. It is a choice to grow. It is a choice to pursue a higher purpose. It is also a choice to sit back and do nothing. But in every choice you make, you are the one who is responsible. Stop playing the victim. Start imagining possibilities. Do some soul searching. Stop watching television. Find your passion. Empower yourself. Deprogram your social considioning. It’s all here in this pamphlet.

Make changes that will not just benefit you, but the world as well. If we leave one thing after we die, wouldn’t it be nice to have a net positive effect on the planet? If you add up all your positive actions and subtract the negative ones, you would most likely want your actions towards the greater good outmatch the evil or inconsequential acts, wouldn’t you? You should strive to be someone who embraces abundance and has no problem being generous. It is a complete shift in mindset that will cultivate these changes. It is a complete shift in actions that will supplement these changes.

You can be the change in the world. Even if you think what you do doesn’t matter on a large scale (like reducing your ecological footprint), still do it anyway. Your model may inspire others to do so and that could lead to a revolution. It will be like a positive spiral upward. When people see your passion, your energy, your resilience, and your guts, they will wonder where you got all of this from. And when they are truly ready to listen, you can tell them how to lead richer, more fulfilling lives. You can be the navigator. You can give your vast experience to others. You can be the model for service to the highest good of all. Or you can stay at that dead-end job. You can work like a dog your whole life at a job you hate and die unhappy. It is up to you. Both paths are neither right nor wrong. It’s just one is more empowering than the other. Your choice.

I’m sure we all hear that saying enough, but how many of us actually pursue variety in lieu of repetition? For many people in today’s world, repeition is the spice of life. They get up every day, go to the same job, go home, and it works the same way, every day, like clockwork. This is the way most people I’ve seen live. Very scarcely do they mix it up and do something totally spontaneous. People get set in their ways and just do what feels comfortable for five, ten, twenty years before they realize that it is not so interesting. They finally figure out that you cannot grow by staying in your comfort zone. You can only grow by getting outside your comfort zone and starting to experience new things every day. If you experience one new thing every day for the next twenty years, you’ll have 7305 new experiences (accounting for the five leap years also). So, wouldn’t you say that it should be worth it to spice it up just a tad?

If you live your life in an experiential way, taking in each experience, rather than evaluating them with labels, but just letting the experience pass you by, and moving onto the next one with gratitude, grace, ease, and lightness, you will start to see how powerful this way of living is. It will push you to experience more and more of what you currently are not. It is a powerful tool for fulfillment. If you root yourself in experiences, rather than material possessions, rather than things that are, by nature, impermanent, you will feel more secure. This is because people cannot take those experiences away from you. Someone could come over today and take all your possessions, your land, your home, but they can never take what you’ve done, who you’ve met, and the good/bad times you’ve endured. Root yourself in what cannot be taken away and you’ll be freer than most people in this world.

They say that people look for love in material possessions, like that next new car is going to make me feel good enough to be loved. But perhaps this sort of feeling is misjudged as unconditional love is out there everywhere if you look hard enough. And you will never acquire it from the things around you, but from living things and nature and to spend time interacting with the “living sector” of life, rather than spending time in the “possession sector.” Of course, spending time with both of these sectors count as an experience, but which of the two is richer? Your laptop will not help you when you’re down, nor will your washer/dryer combination. But living things, be them animals or people in your life, will often try to help cheer you up or help you with your situation. And if you do not feel that way, I urge you to try and find people who will do these things for you.

If you are grateful for each and every experience you have, and try to find the good in all of it, more good things will happen to you. Optimism is so much better than pessimism. Although everyone gets a bout of pessimism once in awhile, rerouting that negativity with a healthy dose of joy is just what the doctor ordered. If you view all your experiences in the most positive way possible, you start to build momentum towards the positive life you’ve always dreamed of. I see this as proof in my own life and the lives of those who live by these rules. Even if you cannot completely control what happens to you, you can always choose how to react to what is going on. So make the empowering choice and spice up your life. Get as many experiences as you can, good or bad, and then give them all a positive spin. It will be worth it. Peace to everyone.

The best way to spend your present moments is in the present, not in the past or in the future, worrying about things that have not happened, wondering if things will happen. It is better to enjoy each moment as it comes without expectation than it is to expect something. Make no appointments and you’ll have no disappointments. The fact is that ever moment on this Earth, in the universe, is a gift, one that should not be sqandered, so wasting your time in non-present negativity is not going to get you anywhere.

I like the whole “time is an illusion” concept. It is true because the only moment you can actively perceive is right now. You may be able to dip into your past or dream about the future, but you are doing those things in the present. Your best bet is to stay present and work towards eternal joy. Know in the depths of your heart that joy is all around you, waiting to be released and that in order to get it, you just need to focus on each and every moment as it is, without expectation, and allow that moment to be, and the next, and the next.

Think about it: if you expect nothing, anything is a bonus. Even if the occurrence is negative, you have the capacity to make it better, if you please to. If not, you allow it into your reality. As things come at you, or you go to things (my personal favorite), you start to look at them from a whole different perspective. For example, I recently got some supposedly “bad” news when I found out my comedy performance would be delayed a few weeks, but after some anger and a nap, I came to my senses and knew I wasn’t even ready for a July 9th performance anyway. Working nine days straight and 11 out of 12 will definitely put comedy on the back burner, and with my show approaching so rapidly and my mind allocated to other tasks, it is now perceived as a blessing, rather than a curse.

I believe perhaps I intended for this to happen because I really kept saying to myself, “There is no way I’ll be ready in time.” So I was sending that message out into the universe, and the universe manifested me more time. I love to see this power of thought stuff in action. One time, my grandfather was going to pick me up to do some driving (before I had my license), and he said he would be there at ten, but I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to get ready, so I said to the world, “I need more time,” and he calls me at ten till ten and says he’ll be a half-hour late, as something held him up at his condo.

So staying in the present and acknowledging that there really is no “time” except now really opens new doors for you and your life. Just do me a favor and try it out. Go for a presence walk. Do what it is that allows you to see it firsthand. You’ll thank me someday. And if not, well, sorry.

I never knew how to control spam until now with the Askimet thing that they have as a feature on Wordpress to begin with. Thank God for that. I was so tired of receiving hundreds of emails each month telling me that I have more spam comments to moderate. Whew! That was one hell of a bad thing. I could not believe the amount of spam that comes through this website. It had to be almost one hundred a day. Those people or those machines that distribute it must work real hard to keep their spam going. I’m just glad that now I can concentrate on writing.

I’ve been having some technological problems with my computer as of late. One of the big problems is that every few minutes, this machine freezes for like two to five seconds, then again two seconds after that. Then it is okay for about five minutes, then it does it again. I am looking into whether or not I have viruses on this computer and I tried downloading the Ad-Aware, but it always displays an error message halfway through the scan, which is getting pretty irritating because it supposedly detected over 100 adwares before it kept crashing. I need to do something about these problems, and I believe actually buying one of these virus programs could help quite a bit. Rather than using the free watered-down version, why not spend the fifty or so dollars and really make sure this machine is working to it highest potential. Why should I keep suffering with a machine that is working well below its optimal level because of numerous adware, spyware, and other viruses? I figure, it is a win-win situation.

So yesterday I went to my Transfer Orientation at Coastal Carolina University. I am not in the mood for doing links, but I will put one for CCU. It seems like a really nice school and I think I will love the professors I have. My advisor is great and another teacher, this Indian guy from India who has the Apu voice exactly is going to be one of my teachers. It is going to be a fun year. Two people from my work were also at the Orientation and it at least made me feel a bit better. Going at it alone is so much harder than going at it with people you know. After some really tough times, I feel like my life is finally going where it needs to go.

After winning my comedy contest, I finally have the first three dates that I will emcee for the comics that are performing that night. They are: July 9-11. I still have to pick my other four, but they will come in due time. My brother and grandparents are going on a cruise and they will miss my first three sessions, but if I make sure I get them there the other times, I will have much more moral support and all of that good stuff.

My car is working fine as well. I just filled it up for around $25. Not bad if you ask me, at least not at this point. I had about a quarter or a tank in there when I decided to fill it up, so $30 dollars seems like a reasonable amount to spend to fill up my tank. It will only be probably once or twice a month anyway, the way I drive and how far I go on a regular basis. However, commuting to CCU five times a week could prove to bring my mileage up to about over 150 a week or maybe more, but that is fine, at least at this point in my life. I’m going to need to become accustomed to travel if I wish to become a professional stand-up comedian.

On a side note, I finally decided it is a good idea for me to become a teacher. A math teacher, that is. I mean, I love math, I am good at teaching it to others, and I have the kind of personality that can’t help but get up in front of others and show them what is going on. This is kind of funny because I am not really a social person per se. I am more of someone who may say a few really insightful or funny things in a conversation, but I am not the center of attention, unless I am up on that stage. It may have something to do with being higher up than everyone else that makes me into this performer. Who knows?

Anyway, I now know where life will take me, at least to some extent, and that sort of vision is something to keep me going. I have so much going for me now and I feel like I can accomplish anything that I want. I am looking forward to it all. Have a nice day and I will be back momentarily, although I cannot say when.

I felt like I needed to belt out another blog entry today. It just feels right at this point. I am feeling really good this week. I was in the paper. I have achieved ‘celebrity status’ among the people I know and the people that I will come to know. And it is all because I believed in myself and I caught a glimpse of my own greatness. The only regret I have is that I could have done this sooner in my life. I guess now that I know who I am and where I come from and what I am about, I can now start to move myself further and further towards my dream. If you do not have a dream, a purpose, a plan for this life, then why bother? And this is a plan that fulfills me at this point. Hopefully, I can become successful enough where I can do this sort of thing for a living, stand-up comedy that is.

I found it kind of funny how most people at my work told me they would never expect me to be a comedian. That kind of makes it even more worth it because that is part of how I go about my act. I just surprise the hell out of the whole audience. I go up there and do what it is I do and I get results, at least to this point, and I intend to go further and further into this “career choice” until I become one of the better comedians out there. It would be nice to get a few specials eventually.

It is going to be a good, long road and I am ready for it. It means a lot to me that I accomplish this goal. It is something to work towards, a pinnacle, a zenith. I had to put that word in. I want to see how far my potential can stretch, how far I can go, how wonderful this life can turn out to be. Getting myself into the state where I believe the whole world is conspiring to make me successful is something that would be nice. I need to put in the work and effort to make this comedy thing work out to the best of my ability. It will take hard work, perseverence, and a little luck to get where I want to be.

At least I am on the path. The path towards my goal, and the path itself has to be just as rewarding as the destination. That is the key. If I want to get somewhere that will make me happy in the future, I sure as hell better be happy now as well. At least I enjoy the process. I love coming up with the jokes, and I love it when I get this ‘aha’ moment that allows me to write a joke and get the wording perfect. It takes a ton of effort to do this consistently. And I would not have it any other way. That is what makes doing this sort of thing rewarding. Putting in the time and hard work and then seeing it pay off onstage is something that you cannot buy. It is something you have to work at.

Anyway, I can’t believe how wonderful the Magic Bullet Blender is. I got one from my grandmother, who bought it for me. It is so great how easy it is to make fruit smoothies and other great drinks. And no, I am not being paid to say that. I am so happy that I finally got something that makes it easy to consume fruit in large quantities without chewing. This is how wonderful my life is going right now. With comedy and the Magic Bullet Blender at my side, how can I possibly go wrong? A sense of humor is worth twice its weight in gold.

Well, I guess I showed them last night. I put down a very powerful set and I beat the other ten comics who made it to the final round. It was probably my best set to date. I went on third, and I think that helped me a lot because I hate to wait when doing my set. I have it all ready to go, and then they want me to wait. My prizes were numerous, which is amazing. I got like six or seven $25 gift certificates to various restaurants and nightclubs, and a bottle of wine (kind of ironic, seeing how I do not drink). What was funny about this is that I was the youngest competitor there (at 21) and had only been to a comedy club once for the preliminary round. But I threw down my material, which had been four years in the making, no lie. Writing jokes takes a tremendous amount of time and it’s amazing how much effort went into this win, but the effort was well-worth it. I also get to emcee there for a week, which means I will have to clear my work schedule for that. I need to pursue my dream, not get caught up in the supermarket way of life.

I am so glad I won, but even if I didn’t win, I would still be grateful for the opportunity and the experience. I think it is so great that places like the Comedy Cabana allow young comics to express themselves in front of a live audience. I mean, it’s kind of funny how they only gave us from five to seven minutes because that is all I had anyway. I probably went less than that, but I had over 25 jokes, and around 20 or so good laughs, and three or four applauses, loud applauses. Maybe more, it was all a blur up there onstage. Then when you get offstage, you have some idea on how it went, but you’re not completely sure. I remember I got so many really good laughs, the audience loved me. So I almost knew for sure, judging by the audience response on the other people, that I had to be the winner. If I wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my fault, but the judges just did not like my style.

I saw a few other comics who I did enjoy that night and I thought they were very good. They just did not have the volume of laughs per minute I did. A lot of them told stories and one guy even announced his canidacy for the president. I feel like one of them would have won if I hadn’t showed up. It was weird how I found out about this competition. I kind of was online somewhere, and just happened to hear about it from some message board, and immediately went to the Comedy Cabana Myspace page., where I asked when and where I could sign up and then on May 21, I did well enough to make it to the final round, and then finally won the final round.

So where do I go from here? I believe this is some sort of turning point in my life, where I know now that I am at least a good comedian, who is good enough to beat some of the comedians who have been performing for more than ten years. If that does not say something about my material, my timing, and my delivery, nothing does. And it wasn’t so much about winning or losing. I just wanted to do the best job I could, and I did. I did something many comedians dream of, and now I know I need to start entering more and more comedy competitions, performing everywhere I can, at anytime that’s possible. Experience is the best teacher, and I do not want to be the one who’s cutting class. And it wasn’t just my material that people laughed at. I paced back and forth, up and down the stage, and then when I did my joke about how sometimes I wander around aimlessly, I got the biggest applause of the night. And I hadn’t even reached the punchline yet. “But the worst part about that is finding your way back.” So I really had the audience on my side by that point, and i finished with a bang.

The emcee really liked me and told me that I was even funnier than last time, which he said was really “fucking” funny. So, I guess I will have to update my Myspace page to include: “Winner of Comedy Cabana’s Open Mic Comedy Competition.” At least now I have something to put on my resume. Once again, the only negative that came from the club was the smoke. No one in my immediate family has somoked since I was alive, so I guess I am just not used to smoke, and I hate the smell. I may have to start performing wearing a gas mask. I am tired of getting bloodshot eyes every time I perform. What I may have to do is go to a place in the club that is non-smoking before I go on, and then perform, then go outside for awhile. We’ll see.

Anyway, I really enjloyed myself last night and look forward to more good times in the comedy world. Thank you, Comedy Cabana. I know you never saw me coming. Thank you.