AndrewBrunelle.com

The worst feeling ever is when you have a funny thought and forget it before you have a chance to write it down. Not just funny thoughts, too. Profound thoughts, like, “Did I lock my keys in my car again?” That makes absolutely no sense, but I’ll go on from here. This is a solid foundation for a wonderful post. Why would someone write down a question like that? Anyway, I find that writing down any important thoughts I have, be them comedy or otherwise, prove to be invaluable. Later I can archive them into my database of thoughts, which further and further brings me closer to finding out exactly who I am. Not from an ego perspective, but from a self perspective. I know who my ego is, but getting into the self is something that is much more challenging. My thoughts help me go into a positive direction towards figuring this all out.

Everone is different in some way, but then again, we are all the same in other ways. But I believe, at a fundamental level, we are all one. We are all the same collective consciousness. And this includes everything we experience. Not just human beings, as we tend to think of ourselves as so much more important as the other species on this planet. They are all part of us as a whole as well. I remember this thing I heard from somewhere about how if you are ever mad at someone or criticize someone, it is really that part of you that you are resisting. Like if you work in an office building and you notice one of your employees is not doing his/her job effectively, perhaps working on your own effectiveness will ease the problem. If someone is driving you crazy, it is not their behavior that is driving you crazy, but your reaction to this person’s behavior. You can choose to accept the “gift” or not. And if you do not accept the gift, to whom does the gift belong?

I don’t know if you got that reference, but if not, there was a story about the Buddha and some young hothead who kept spewing insults at the Buddha. The Buddha remained calm and eventually the hothead walked away, frustrated. The man who was hurling the insults did not have a receiver of them because the Buddha decided to decline them. Therefore, the receiver of the insults was the young man who was hurling them. I really like this story because it is just amazing how simplistic it is, and yet it brings across such a powerful message. But I feel that most things that have powerful messages are simplistic. Otherwise, their message would be convoluted in a pile of rules and regulations.

Following that natural progression of thought, if you love someone, it really means you love that part of yourself. The same goes for hate, despise, and whatever else you can think of. If you completely and fully accept yourself, then you will completely and fully accept everyone unconditionally, to the degree you accept yourself unconditionally. I hope that make ssense. Even if the outside world tells you that you’re not good enough, that you need to do more, all that matters is what is inside yourself. And once you open the door to accepting everyone for who they are, people will eventually accept you for who you are. It may take a little while for everyone to accept you, but it takes awhile for anything new to manifest in your life, so be patient.

Accept things as they are and move to grow from them. If you resist your current situation in the present, then you are creating more of that for yourself. Embrace every moment you have on this planet because the time is limited, at least in a physical sense. Once you start accepting your current circumstances (the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth), then you can move on to actually bettering your circumstances. You will never be able to grow from denial because denying what you have right now is lowering your awareness. Accept what you have, and make an intention to move towards what you want. And just allow yourself to experience joy. I mean, if you really want to start enjoying life, why not start right now? Watch a funny clip on YouTube or rent a funny movie. Get yourself in a joyful state because life is too short to be depressed. And acknowledge that your current circumstances could change at any moment. Embrace impermanance.

Life would be boring if it was not the way it is now. If there were no obstacles to overcome, what would be the purpose of living? As I believe I said before, if we all had our problems solved, we would have nothing to work towards. We need to be grateful for everything we experience because it is allowing us to experience life and all of its wonders. I don’t know where I read this, but one guy suggested that even when you are signing your bankruptcy papers, take a moment to realize how smooth the pen writes on the piece of paper.

I guess I should close with one last story, and I believe this is the whole theme of this post: A man is being chased by two lions all the way to the edge of a cliff. He sees a vine dangling from the cliff and decides to climb down on it. It is a strawberry vine. He is hanging from it so the lions cannot reach him. He looks up and notices two mice gnawing on the vine. He knows he does not have much time before he falls to his death. He eats a stawberry and it is delicious.

I’ve been considering fasting for some time, I just can’t do it. Can’t make a commitment. Not eating for days on end, not something I can make a conscious effort to do. I am aware of the potential benefits, especially of a juice fast, where all I would consume are fresh juices, but then I’ll have to clean the juicer three or four times a day, not something I want to do. I realize that fasting is a detox mechanism which allows for repair and gives my digestive system a rest. If I did a water fast, I am sure I would get sick of water after a certain amount of time and move on to heavier things, like broth, then juice, then eventually something tastier–soda. I’m just curious as to how a fast is constituted and how I can get a doctor to write me a note for three to five days off work so I can try this whole fasting thing and see how I like it. I think this whole fasting dream I have is all a scheme for me to get off work a few more days each week.

“I can’t come into work today. I have toxins in my body and if I let them stay there too long, I could die. I need to detox for at least five days, maybe six.” I would have to do it in the raspy voice I usually use to call in sick, a voice that sounds like I just got out of bed and haven’t said a word all day. I bet I could pull that off, if I had some sort of research on it. I would most likely try and break the fast at breakfast. That way I coud be doing one of those double entondre (?) things where I can say I’m breaking my fast at breakfast. I may have to hire a maid to make me juices and to go shopping for me and maybe I can pull it off. I can feel all the accumulated gunk from years and years of pizzas and doughnuts, not to mention that Mountain Dew addiction I had for the first nineteen years of my life. My arteries are probably lined with High Fructose Corn Syrup, which makes for a nice lubricant I hear.

As I’ve always said, it is easier to not do something than it is to do it unless it is an addiction, like a sugar addiction or a food addiction. No matter how lethargic I am, no matter how late it is, I can always muster the energy to go over to the cupboard and get myself a high-sugar, low-fiber poison snack and shove it in my mouth for an emotional lift and sugar high. I think maybe the Fit for Life diet gave me this sugar addiction with their whole, “nothing but fruit in the morning” approach. What did they think was going to happen? They say, “Have as much fruit as you want, but do not overeat.” What? Does that make sense? No. It’s a living paradox. Here I am, eating pints of blueberries, followed by six bananas, and then sixteen Medjool dates, and I’m still hungry, but not hungry in the stomach sense, hungry in my mouth, the salivary glands are going wild, and I know what my problem is, a sugar addiction.

I still eat fruit, but I need some time away from food. I need to find a practical time to do this fast, I may even request some days off from work to accomplish it. My family will inevitably think I’m crazy, but I think that is for the best anyway. If everyone thinks you’re crazy, you’re either right, or crazy. Sometimes the only reason I eat is because I think I have to. I’m not hungry, I just feel if I don’t, people will start saying, “You didn’t eat lunch? Why?” Because I didn’t feel like it. But that’s not a good enough answer. Going against conventional wisdom takes more courage than you think.

If I really want to scare the people I know, I should start quoting the Bible while I fast, every day and every night. Start saying how fasting is the only way to salvation and that if I do not do this, I will never get closer to the Lord. And He is the one wa all long to get close to. And it’s all here in this pamphlet. I should start going door to door, like a Jehvovah’s Witness. You know, maybe their theme song should be, “Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” Going off topic has become more and more familiar to me in the past six to eight months. But I accept it because I accept myself unconditionally. And I never edit because if I think something, I think it for a reason and there is no reason to cut out part of the process, like I see on those reality shows. They’ll cut to someone screaming at another person and don’t show how that all started. It gives me no basis for judgment.

Anyway, fasting is something I think I should try and I will post results when I start to fast. I’ll have some time to post because I will not be eating. When everyone is around the dinner table, eating their roast duck, I will be slaving away at my master, my computer, documenting how it feels not to do something everyone regards as necessary. I don’t want to make a big thing out of it, though. It’s not like I’m going on a hunger strike to fight world hunger or poverty. I’m doing it because I can. I can make a choice to not do something. It is strikingly similar to my voting fast. I’ve never registered to vote in 21 1/2 years because where I currently live, my vote would be drowned out by a bunch of conservative Republican voters. And voting for yourself makes you look narcissistic anyway. Probably wouldn’t be the best idea. That is all I have for today. Come back soon for more insanity.

What I hope to accomplish in the coming months and years is to improve this blog every day, every week, every post. I feel that a blog is a great medium to convey ideas and gives me an outlet for writing and creativity. I can always make what I am doing better and to grow this blog into something amazing, something beyond just the text, would be amazing for me and the world. The penalty of not utilizing my potential does not just hurt me, it hurts the entire world. If I do not do my best to ensure the world is becoming a better place, then it will have consequences.

The whole point I am making here is that there is always the quote, “If we all did our best, then…” and I want to make that a reality. I want to lead by example and encourage others to do the same, their best in whatever field they are in. If we all band together to do the best we possibly can do, anything is possible, barring the removal of gravity. When and if I am ever on my deathbed, the question I will ultimately ask myself is, “Did I do my best?” And if I cannot answer yes to that question, if I cannot feel satisfied about what I contributed, then I did not live the life I wanted to, and the regrets will start to settle in. The longer I live, the more chance I have to make a valid contribution to this world. I want to raise awareness about certain things and promote healthy living, healthy emotions, and help the world become the wonderful place it can be.

I am going to focus solely on providing genuine value to the readers, in various forms, so that everyone feels they can benefit from this website. I plan to really vamp up the blog in the next few months, with much more high-level content, things that keep me awake at night, and I want to rehash a conversation I had with a friend of mine to show how important life is, or whether anything really matters at all, in the grand scheme of things. The only reason why anything happens is because it is a possibility. If it wasn’t a possibility, it wouldn’t be happening. This is how I feel right now. So the fact that I am writing this post right now means that it is a possibility in the grand scheme of life, the infinite time frame of the universe. And I am making the most of this possibility. Don’t let your possibility slip away.

We have the ability in this life to make a choice. A fundamental choice about our lives. We can choose to be a part of the problem or part of the solution. And there is no real right or wrong answer, if the choice is made consciously. But if the choice is a socially conditioned, unconscious choice, which really isn’t a choice at all, then it has no bearing. You have to take the initiative to either encite change or defend the status quo. It is up to you. I am taking the time to work this blog up and make everything better to hopefully inspire people to better themselves and the world. I hope you make a similar decision, and if you don’t make sure it is a conscious deicision.

I am someone who always thinks outside the box. It is my nature. Besides, the box is too crowded anyway. I find the more I talk to yourself, the less people will talk to me. I guess it’s probably because they do not want to interrupt the conversation I’m having with myself. At least I can laugh about it later. Some people can’t. At least I never got in a heated debate with myself. I sometimes speak too soon. Sometimes when I am in public and I feel like talking to myself but do not want to be looked upon as clinically insane, I pull out my cell phone and use that to have a fictitious conversation with my subconscious. I pace back and forth and give good arguments. At least when I talk to myself, I at least get somewhere with it.

Doing this is a contant theme in my life. It always was. And it probably always will be. I even used to carry around a little tape recorder so I could record everything I was saying. Maybe I’m secretly lonely. Who knows? All I can really say about this is it is a part of who I am, and I would not trade it for anything.

Another thing that is very different from other peope is I tend to “zone out” quite a bit. It is a very strange feeling where my thoughts take me for a wild ride, and it takes me quite a long time to get back. When I do come back, or “zone in,” I need to check the clock to see how long I was gone. It is almost like I’m not even around when this happens. I just fade out of existence. It is a different kind of meditation. One that happens spur of the moment and goes on until I realize I need to come back to reality.

A sad state my mind was in when my mini tape recorder broke and now I will have to buy a DVR, or Digital Voice Recorder. I feel kind of awkward speaking into it, unless I pretend it is a cell phone. Especially if there are a lot of people around. I say something like, “Why does only one company make the Monopoly game?” or “A man with OCD broke into my house and cleaned the entire thing. I didn’t call the cops. I hired him as my cleaning man.” I guess I shouldn’t care what those people think, really. If we all really are one, then they know what I am doing and understand me unconditionally. I just wish more people weren’t so afraid to show their weirdness. I can’t wait until casual Friday at my work. I have the clown costume and makeup all ready. Boy, will they be surprised.

I just find a safe life boring. A life where you do what everyone else is doing and just go with the flow of society. I can’t see myself ever doing some of the things people do for fun, or do because other people do it. It has to resonate with me and no one else. The only exception I am making is doing my taxes on time. I do not want to be victim to the IRS and their unlawful tactics. I really enjoy seeing things the way I see them, not the way I am conditioned to see them. For example, when people say that Angelina Jolie is attractive, I mean, she’s okay, but I don’t really find her that attractive. And no, I’m not gay. It is just how I see things.

Recently, I thought of a real good idea that may or may not get me arrested, but I won’t actually do it. When I was undergoing brain cancer treatment, radiation, I got this radiation mask, and it is custom fitted to my face, and is made of plastic with a bunch of little holes in it. My plan is to wear it to the bank and attempt to make a withdrawal. It would be really funny, but nah, I may wait. I am also one of the only people who like talking to telemarketers. I like to string them along, have them go all the way up to their sales pitch and then say, “No.” It brings me a sort of smug satisfaction. It is really funny.

If I wasn’t who I am today, I would feel like I was someone else. I do whatever it is I feel is right for me to do and I always follow my instincts. If I feel like something is wrong, like buying fast food, I do not partake in that endeavor. If I do not think Christianity is a good religion for me, I do not follow it. The whole theme of this post is to trust in yourself and who you are and do not be afraid to express yourself in public. I used to feel that way, that I always had to censor myself so people did not label me as crrazy or delusional. Now I just laugh at those silly labels, and I encourage you to do the same. Just don’t threaten anyone’s life. That could lead to jail time. Now to find that Google Adsense code…

Writing is something I do because it allows me to express my thoughts in such a way that other people can relate to them. Every now and then I have an insight into my life and think to myself if anyone else could benefit from what I now know. I choose to write about whatever is on my mind and go from there. I never know where I will end up, maybe even somewhere I cannot come back from. But it is okay because I can always hit the delete key. Free form writing and creative endeavors really get my mind in the flow state.

My personal goal in this next month or so is to improve my writing skills beyone anything I have ever seen. I must find a way to come across even more coherently in a way that does not overcomplicate things. I am not one to use big words to sound ultra-smart because I feel small words can fulfill the same duty, sometimes even moreso. I may not follow all the rules of proper grammar, but at least I know what I am talking about…most of the time.

I like to just sit down and write for awhile. I never know what is going to come out of me, and that is exciting in a way. If you realize that every post you write is a creation, like giving birth to a new baby, then you will become fascinated by the disparity and diversity of your schools of thought. As I look back on previous posts, I realize those posts were written with a completely different state of mind. I can no longer resonate with some of the previous ideas I wrote about and now have to move on to the ideas I have now, and even they will pass.

I guess what I am getting at here is impermanance. Nothing is permanent, so it is best not to be attached to anything in particular. Time flies while you are creating and the flow state is almost inevitable. Working from this standpoint, how can I possibly stop? Consciously thinking of new ways to think about ordinary things is a challenge I choose to undertake. I am working in a field known as metacognition: thinking about thinking.

Maybe I should think about my thinking about thinking, and then go another level deep, and so on until I go completely insane. You know, I always wondered what it would be like to try on a strait jacket anyway. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

If you look at the world in a completely objective sense, you will start to wonder what you can do about it, and it will seem overwhelming, but if you then look at it in an subjective light, where you are equally everything, and you are consciousness, you start to have power, you can start to make a change. This is something that is becoming increasingly familiar in my life. I now know that the power resides within, as long as I believe it is there. And the fact I acknowledge this power and take action to improve this power makes me motivated to keep going. I believe this post is of sufficient length, and now I rest my fingers. The last ailment I need is carpel-tunnels.

Plase Note: I am starting to use Google Adsense and I am going to try and find the best ad configuration in my spare time to see what works best for myself and the readers. I will probably place them towards the bottom and not mix them in with the posts to obstruct your view. I will also probably put them on the side banners so that way it will not interfere with the reader so much. Thank you.

Starting a new eating routine is a challenging ordeal to accomplish, but I feel like I am finally getting it to a point where I feel comfortable. I am convinced that natural hygeine is the key to having exuberant and vibrant health. Their concepts of food combining and only fruits before noon sound very appealing to me. It is a mostly raw diet, and that is something I definitely will enjoy. I am not a fan of cooking, and I know how much cooking damages food. Ideally, I hope to go completely raw in the near future. I just need to find a way to make some raw vegetables palatable. Perhaps soaking them in water will do some good…

At this point, I do not eat on a set schedule. I eat when I feel hungry and that is it. I eat “meals” at least three hours away from each other, and only one “concentrated food” at a time. I can mix the concentrated foods with non-concentrated foods. A concentrated food is a food without high water content, like walnuts or cooked food. The thing that is fascinting to me is our bodies are over 70 percent water and yet we do not have 70 water in our diet. The key is to up the high water content foods and lower the concentrated foods to balance out the body’s natural system. I find this whole concept very interesting.

I recently bought a book entitled Fit for Life. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of it, but it is an amzing book so far. I am about halfway done reading it and it is something I could see myself adapting to, their way of life. I decided I am going to try it and see how my results are. If they are promising, I will keep it. If not, I will look for another diet. It is not that I need to lose weight. I am at a healthy weight and I am getting in good shape, but my energy level is still a little low, so I am trying to find the diet that will boost my energy levels to the point I can start accomplishing more and having the energy to do so. I know this post is shorter than my usual posts, but I really have to get to working out. Have a good day.

The key here is getting everything I do not need out of my life. All of the things that are no longer useful to me. Get rid of the thoughts in my head that do not help me. Start implanting thoughts that empower me and keep me going. Understand that living simply is a means by which you let others simply live. I believe Ghandi has a quote something like that. There is a feeling of lightness that comes with this territory, a feeling that you are no longer bound to the things and feelings you used to regard as a neccesity. Attachment is the root of all suffering. Attachment to things, outcomes, and feelings is what causes all the bad things in the world. To no longer hold stock in expectations does not demotivate me to take action, it makes taking action that much easier because even if I fail, I am more concerned with the experience than the outcome.

I sometimes question the way we live as human beings, and I realize that it will take a massive catastrophe for any of this to change. We never see problems that creep up to us slowly, like global warming, but if something were to happen, like a meteor hitting the Earth or something, then we would know how to adapt, we would made due. Perpetuating our existence is a must from a humanistic perspective. Why, I don’t know. Whenever people talk about the “end of the world,” what they are really talking about is the end of human existence. Like we are so much more important than the other creatures on this planet. WE need to be interdependent with nature, not independent of it. But from a universal perspective, it isn’t all that important, but on a local one, it is the most important thing possible.

There is a saying like, “If we all did out part…” Well, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? Everyone doing their part for a better world, a better existence. But for some reason, people are too caught up in their situation, their immediate surroundings, not the fate of the planet. I guess it is a challenge to think in terms of the whole planet, of every action we take furthering the world in one direction or another, and making a conscious effort to see the consequences of our actions is not a pleasant experience. But after you do this, and realize what is happening, you start to question many of the activities you took for granted. I am not a vegetarian yet, but seeing how animals are treated in slaughterhouses and understanding that if we are all one, every animal I eat contributes to the suffering of consciousness, the karmic debt is enormous. The way people tear down the rainforests to make room for cattle to graze. The way the cattle are pumped full of hormones and antibiotics so they do not die and produce more. The feeling that contributing to suffering is not the best option.

I will admit I still eat meat on occasion. I realize there are many negative consequences to doing so. Eventually, I hope to phase out meat completely. There are numerous benefits to doing so, if I do it right. I may have to take supplements and eat more vegetables, but it is something I am willing to do to increase my gift to the world. And it will help take away some of the resources used for animals. If we all did this, all of us, then maybe we could start some changes, radical changes. But for some reason, I do not see this happening. It may take over a century even if everyone is willing. It would take a consciousness revolution for this to happen. I see spurts of this sort of revolution, but not to the extent that would be required.

The best thing I can do right now is simplify my life and the lives of the people around me. Start having people question the norm, the status quo. Encourage change, encite a movement, wake people up to the world and show that we can all be just as happy living simply, living with a high state of consciousness. It will be far more joyous than we live today. I guess you could say I am an optimistic pessimist, but I am more on the optimum side right now. I am not going to deny that the world is in bad shape, and the best way I know how to encite change is through informing people and practicing what I convey. If we all start to do this, maybe, just maybe, we will fix the problems of the world, start to develop renewable fuel sources that do not pollute the environment, and even save many of the dying species occupying various regions of he globe. I am hopeful we are up to this task. We may need a collection of individuals to complete this task, to advocate change and to move higher on the consciousness scale, so let us all get together in simplifying and raising consciousness. It will be a fun ride. You better wear your seatbelt.

Here is something that’s happened to me as of late: I stopped watching television, so my new hobby before bedtime is reading fiction books. I find it is a great exercise in imagination and also puts me in creative mode before bed. When I was a child, in elementary school and middle school, I read every night before going to bed, and I would often stay up later than everyone else, just so I could finish the book or one more chapter. I’m starting to become more into reading now that I no longer watch the tube. The natural consequence of this is after I read and set myself off to bed, my mind is still in creative mode from visualizing the story I was reading minutes earlier. This creative activity in my brain carries into my dreams, and gives me at least two to six dreams I remember each and every night.

When I used to watch television, my mind was just accepting what it saw, and was constantly being pushed to the flight or fight response mechanism from all the changing camera angles and blood/violence I saw on the screen. Now that I have books to read, and the whole experience is going on insde my head, and not through my external senses, it is entirely my creation. I think what all the characters look like and I create the scene by filling in the gaps and it is a wonderful experience. There is nothing to react to, all I need to do is create.

People always compare books to movies. First, the book comes out and it is a national bestseller, so they decide to make it into a movie to make more money. And everyone is always so happy they made it into a movie. Then it rules at the box office, and most of the people that go see the movie never read the book, at least not up until that point. Maybe after seeing the movie, they decide to read the book, but most people say they do not have time. I find that if I read a book after seeing the movie, I am forced to put the characters from the movie, the actors who played the characters, into the novel and it takes away from my imaginative power. I would rather imagine the characters the way I see them, making it a richer experience. If I ever read The Shawshank Redemption, every time the narrator describes a scene, I do not want to be thinking of Morgan Freeman’s voice. That would just place celebrities in a book I am reading to form my own impression about the book.

Even when I do read a book after I see the movie, I still find the book was always better. The book always contained more information, different scenes from the movie, and all of that good stuff, so it is not entirely the same. But the affect it has on my dreams is amazing. If I read the book, I start to have much more vivid dreams. They are so amazing, it is incomprehensible. Better than before. It is a mix of people from my life, and the storylines from some of the books all brought together, and sometimes there are things I never experienced, nor had I ever read these experiences, which is really interesting. I find that no one, or hardly anyone, ever wants to discuss dreams and how they relate to real life. I am one who loves to explore the dimension of dreams and its discontinuity. Its lack of persistence from night to night, from dream to dream. In a given night, I can create as many as six vivid scenes, six amazing dreams that put me in six different states of mind. And they all start off like this is my life, this is what I do, this is what is really happening.

Lucid dreams come few and far between, but I did have one about a week ago. That is something I need to get better at. I believe the key to unlocking that realization is when something happens in the dream that would never happen in real life, or would seldom happen and you would never expect it. Like the time I became lucid recently, I found over eighty dollars on the ground, and I thought to myself, “Hold on a minute, this never really happens, and if it does, I must be dreaming.” So that is how I became lucid. Although I really did not do much in that lucid dream except celebrate that I was lucid, it is something that was an indicator of progress, and the more I read, the closer I feel I am to having richer and possibly more lucid dreams.

The whole fact is that I have taken initiative to strengthen my mind and getting rid of the television was the first step. Now that I allocate the time I used to watch to either reading or writing, imagining instead of passively accepting images in front of me, I am unlocking the creative side of me that was dormant for so many years. Luckily, the first place the creativity struck was in my dream world, the place where I can have the most fun, at least in comparison to everyone else who is sleeping. I intend to read from now on every night. Another thing I added to my routine is going to bed earlier. Instead of staying up watching some sitcom I have already seen ten times anyway, I decide to read for maybe 45 minutes to an hour and then go off into dream land. It is less stimulating and relaxes me into sleep, like a warm bath.

I’ll keep everyone posted on my dream vividity and also come back for some more tips on how to have better dreams in the near future. I look at it this way: If you are asleep, would you rather dream vivid dreams, or essentially do nothing while you sleep? The choice is up to you.

I do not know about you, but I find exercising is a key to radiant health. I run on an exercise bike for most of my exercise as of late. I find that exercising a substantial amount (maybe 30-60 minutes) every day is an activity that nothing can replace. It will bring you greater mental clarity, a better physical condition, more spirituality, and a better outlook on life. It is right up there with laughter as one of the better medicines out there. I just wish doctors would prescribe it more. Getting fit is a personal goal for me. I started this goal in March of last year, so one year in the making so far. I’m down at least ten pounds from previously, and my energy level is substantially higher. My diet has also changed to a plant/fruit/nut-based diet with few grains and meats, and an almost complete exlcusion of dairy. I’m not a big fan of diary anyway, so that is not a big problem.

I can say that I feel lighter. Much lighter. It is easier to move around without this extra weight and harmful products floating around in my body. I feel more mentally sound and can concentrate better. I strive to continue this state of being by upping my exercise regime to include more cardio exercises and possibly some weight training, if I can muster it. I am not looking to be some gigantic guy, just strong enough to get through my workout. “I exercise to get through the workout.”

Currently, I am working on a project that has something to do with improving my writing and also conveying ideas in an articulate yet subtle manner. My first task was to eliminate what they call “passive voice.” That is not an easy task. I am working on it consciously every day I sit down to write, even when I am journaling. Supposedly, and this is from an Enlglish teacher way back in 11th grade, “have + verb = passive voice.” So I “have not done this yet,” would be passive voice.

Another roadblock I am currenlty working to eliminate is contractions. I remember in my first semester of college, I had this professor, well he was not really a professor, more of an assistant director of Residence Life who taught my class called Academy 101. He used to hand back the few papers I wrote for him with the words, “I do not accept contractions.” He took points off for it. It was a subconscious thing for me at that point, writing contractions, and I did not think anything of it when I handed in a paper filled with “I’ms” and “They’res.” I could say I learned my lesson, but it took until now to properly implement it. When I realize that these new techniques will not only help me, but the readers of my blog, it really puts everything full-circle and allows me to keep up this practice of bettering myself and the way I write, just so I can help others do the same. Why stagnate at a perpetual point with no acceleration when you can take the initiative to at least try to get better?

Another occurrence in my life. I am going for a full-out cancellation of watching any television. The last show I watched was last night, a new South Park episode, which I usually find quite entertaining. As of late, their episodes, or at least the last two new ones, were not really funny or entertaining. I may and plan to stop watching that show altogether, and because it is now the only show I watch, it will completely wipe out my television viewership. I used to love television when I was younger. Now I see that no matter what is on the tube, there is something better going on in real life. I used to have this joke I told, “I hate it when I see a movie that was based on a true story. It would have been better if I saw it in real life.” I know it uses passive voice, but that was me before this transition. But it rings true. You are better off experiencing something firsthand than you are experiencing it passively through a piece of “furniture” or “appliance.”

I can say goodbye to contractions and passive voice and bring on a new era of speedy, dilligent writing that gets to the point without extra words to fill the gap. I feel awkward writing like this, as it may take time to adjust. It is an ever-winding process, but it is yet another challenge for me to overcome. I need to start studying other ways to improve the way I communicate. Just recently, maybe five to six months ago, I improved my speech and how clearly I talk and now I even say the whole word, r’s and all. (I come from the Northeast, where “ca” instead of “car” is a given.) That is all for today. Hopefully I can sustain this level of discipline in all of these repsects. It was fun giving birth to this post. Good day.

Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change. Give me the corage to change the things I do not like. And give me the wisdom to know the difference between the two. I guess that is some prayer from either Christianity or Cahtolicism. It goes something like that. And it is a very powerful quote, as it talks about acceptance vs. denial in a way that I believe we all can relate to.

We all have things in our lives we do not like or wish to change. There are some things we have power to change, while others may or may not be within reach, at least at this point in time. The wisdom to know the difference is a journey in self-exploration. We have to look at ourselves objectively sometimes to see what it is we should change, if anything, as life is an ongoing process of evolution. There are some things you cannot change about yourself or your environment, at least at your state of awareness. There are others you think you cannot change, but could with some hard work and perseverence.

If you are six hundred pounds and do not think you will ever lose the weight, that you just have to accept yourself the way you are, I encourage you to look at all the experiiences you are missing out on because of your large stature. Look at how you have to buy two ariplaine tickets if you would like to fly. Realize that anything is possible. And you may not be able to change the things you want right now, but as life moves on, these things could very well become possible. I have heard the story a thousand times before, “The doctor said I would never walk again. But here I am walking.” Just because the odds are stacked against you, that does not mean you have to succumb to apathy and learned helplessness.

And do not deny what you are getting either. You have to accept the truth in all parts of your life. It is only when we accept the truth that we are able to grow further. It does not make sense to lie to yourself on a consistent basis to hold up this facade that has a very weak foundation to it, eventually crumbling. You lower your awareness when you lie. It is obvious that the last statement is true because you are trying to convince yourself that something you are not experiencing is true. So the first step to acceptance is truth, and the second step to changing or choosing to accept your situation is coming to terms with it, and letting it be a part of you once again.

No matter how bad or good a person you are, self-acceptance and self-worth are to big keys to a fulfilling life. When you fully and unconditionally accept yourself, you become more open to possibilities to improve yourelf. It does sound a bit counter-intuitive, but because you accept yourself no matter what, you are no longer afraid to try the activities you were previously fearful of doing. Unconditional acceptance is the answer, but if something is not the way you wish it to be, go ahead and move towards changing it.

As a personal example, in my life, I no longer find my job interesting or fulfilling. I am so close to muttering the words, “I quit,” but the repercussions from my family may be something like this, “You can’t quit your job until you have another one.” Well, moving towards not having a job is nice, at least for me, as I intend to start a business in the near future, although the full details of that business are not yet on paper. I intend to cut down on my consumption in order to build up money to start this business eventually. The only thing that is really holding me back is the people around me, the people who will tell me that I will probably fail, and that may be true, but the experience will be worth it. I have to learn to let go of outcomes, which I am now practicing and will practice for the remainder of my life. Attachment to anything is the root of all suffering anyway. Make no appointment and you’ll have no disappointments. Lower your expectations, but still do whatever it is you want to do. Accept the outcome, and move on from there. That is all I have to say.